I refuse to post a man on my social media; it’s just something I choose not to share. My page is about me, not a man. But it seems that many more women are making the same choice and reflecting on their relationships. In a recent British Vogue article, titled “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” Chanté Joseph points out that women are romanticizing their single lives now. Her piece focuses on how most women these days opt not to showcase their relationships and how the culture has shifted to calling boyfriends out of touch and lame because women no longer want to claim men. A single woman is the new chic.
My prediction is that she put her hand on an early shift. I hear it in my everyday conversations; the mere mention of dating someone sets off my friends into their “I love who you are, single” speech. Coincidentally, I also love who I am single. I love not having to worry about anybody but myself. I love not having to endure the logistical nightmare that a relationship is. Most of my friends agree; nobody has the time nor the patience for a boyfriend. The conversations around relationships that young women are having is significantly changing. Girls want to be a girl-with-a-boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. In these made-up titles themselves, the tone is clear. Women are valuing their own independent identities before claiming a man.
This trend can be seen online in artists such as Olivia Dean, who are producing records that celebrate the ups and downs of single womanhood. We’re romanticizing Carrie Bradshaw’s friendships again, soft-launching and celebrating each other. This trend is a stark contrast to that family and couples content that has ruled this past age of the internet. I also know I am not the only woman who permanently holds a grudge against boyfriends, sue me. The second they show up there is the responsibility of being a girlfriend and the pressure of settling down. Somewhere in the process of trying to fit someone else into your life, you lose yourself. There is a shift in the status quo and it’s important we recognize that. It’s important to recognize that women are finally being encouraged to choose themselves instead of settling for less. And maybe that’s why women are single, because we won’t settle for what women of another generation did.Â
A slowly starting cultural shift that prioritizes women’s independent identities reminds me of all the women who fought to have the privileges we all have. The power to own a bank account, live on your own, get an education, drive and all the things we don’t think twice about doing.Young women are finally being able to prioritize their lived experiences, friendships and community. It’s finally enough to just be yourself. The real reason I won’t post a man is because I like defining myself without a relationship, it’s chic.Â