I will always remember my first day on my college campus, the nerves, the anxiety, the feeling to live up to my parents’ expectations, and most of all, being the first in my family to attend college. The feeling to make them proud was like a weight I just couldn’t shake. It’s an honor to attend such an accredited institution, but it’s also overwhelming sometimes. After all, freshman year is all about really and truly discovering who you are, who you want to be, and breaking barriers.Â
Carrying the Weight of Expectations
Being the first in my family to attend college is something I hold deeply in my heart. It pushes me to keep going when I’m having tough times and forces me to want better for myself. It’s not just about earning a degree to me honestly, it’s way deeper than that. It’s about rewriting what’s possible for my family. My parents didn’t get the same opportunities, so I carry their dreams and sacrifices with me every day and every semester I complete, working towards what seemed to be the impossible to them. That’s something people don’t always see when they look at a “first-gen” student. They see our excitement, but not always the weight of responsibility behind that ecstatic portrayal.
There are moments when I feel an incredible sense of pride. When I call home and my parents tell me how proud they are of me, it reminds me that I’m doing something bigger than myself. I’ll always remember my freshman year how hard it was getting accustomed to my work load, the people around me succeeding while I struggled, it baffled me and made me compare myself so much but my family was always there cheering me on reminding me that what I’m doing is worth while telling me I’m doing amazing even if I feel that I’m not. Sometimes there are also moments when it feels like too much, too overwhelming. Like when I struggle in a class or question if I belong here, there’s that voice in the back of my mind saying, “You can’t fail. Too many people are counting on you.” It’s a pressure that can be both motivating and draining at the same time that I face so often, but I digress.Â
Learning as I Go
Adjusting to college life was its own challenge. I didn’t come in knowing how things worked, how to navigate financial aid, how to choose classes, or even how to talk to professors. I had to learn everything by doing it myself, often through trial and error. Sometimes I looked around and felt like everyone else already knew what to do, and it felt like I was the only one who didn’t. It took time to realize that asking questions and seeking help doesn’t make me less capable; it means I’m growing, improving, and I’m serious about why I came to college in the first place. For my degree.
Balancing Two Worlds
Being first-gen also means balancing two worlds. At home, I am still the same person, still the daughter, the friend, the one who “made it out.” But on campus, I’m learning new things that my family can’t always relate to. Sometimes it feels like I’m translating two different languages: college life and home life. It’s a weird in-between space where you’re constantly trying to stay true to where you came from while also stepping into who you’re becoming and being okay with that change and obstacles that come with it.
Becoming Who I am Meant to Be
Through all the challenges, I’ve learned so much about myself. I am sure to be proud of my story, celebrate my wins, and my losses because I’m human, and most of all, give myself grace when things get hard. And really remember that I’m not perfect, and it’s okay to stumble or make mistakes when growing. I’ve learned that being “the first” doesn’t mean I have to be perfect; it just means I’m paving the way for whoever comes after me.
The Power of Being First
Being the first in my family to go to college has taught me very valuable life lessons I’ll always take with me, even after the people who instilled these values in me are gone: resilience, strength, and the importance of self-belief, and always remember that you have people who love and care for you. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. Every class, every late night, every small success is a reminder that I’m doing something that matters. I’m not just here for me, I’m here for everyone who came before me and everyone who will come after. And that, to me, is the greatest accomplishment of all and one I’ll forever hold deep in my heart.