For the longest time, I thought that fitting in was the way to go. Growing up with little social media, I thought that I was always one step behind. As I got older and got full access to social media though, I realized how much the media we consume gets blurred together. My spreads of art in my sketchbooks dwindled and I started censoring myself, becoming more palatable. It wasn’t until I realized that my best moments were when I was not thinking about how I was being perceived that I truly felt free.
Now I’m not saying that I do not still have a fear of being perceived in a negative light or being too much at times — I’m saying that we should feel free to express how we feel when we want and to wear what we want without a second thought. We should want to express ourselves without the worry that an item of clothing won’t fit our “aesthetic.” It may feel uncomfortable at first, but owning what you think fits your morals and your lifestyle best beats whatever others think of you.
If you curate your life around what you are truly passionate about and create without anxiety about stepping out of a self-imposed boundary, you elevate your imagination to the next level. That next level is what makes you different. Personalize yourself and your life without external voices that have no idea what your life is about. Wear those boots that you think might look a little weird! You thought they were cute when you bought them, so I am sure they are just as cute now.
When I start to lose sight of myself, I like to take time to revel in a hobby or take a stroll. Focusing on the environment around me can clear my head and give me a chance to restart for the next day. Find new music that makes you feel something and gives you a little pep in your step. I find that the best inspiration doesn’t come from Pinterest, but rather from ideas that formulate in your head after experiencing something new.
As Van Gogh says:
“Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow”
-Vincent Van Gogh
Be okay with being a walking contradiction. Be loud one day and quiet the next. Be okay with taking up space.
I’m sure the “clean girl aesthetic” doesn’t take into account that sometimes you forget to do your laundry and now you only have checkered pants and a neon purple long sleeve shirt. Something that you thought was so cringe to wear a few years ago is probably the latest fall trend this month.
Social media can make you think that being original still comes with rules, but it doesn’t. Real authentic creativity is messy. You fail, you look bad in a picture, and you yell in frustration because your hair won’t sit right. But in those moments, you are the realest version of yourself and you realize how liberating it feels.
Overall
Going forward from now and into the rest of my life, I hope I can continue to celebrate my failures, loud moments, messy breakdowns, laughs that go on for so long they hurt my stomach, and silent reflections as I live through my twenties. In my next embarrassing moments I hope that I embrace my mistakes, learn from them, and use it as inspiration for my next big project instead of trying to appease everyone else. I hope all of the girls out there reading my article will embrace themselves fully, even if everyone thinks they are “too much,” because the best successes come from your boldest ideas. Do not be afraid to be more even when the world wants you to be less. To be “too much” is to live life to the fullest!