During the snowstorm in Texas, my roommate and I decided to rewatch some of our favorite romcoms we enjoyed in our teenage years. Some of these romcoms included “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before”, “Me Before You”, and “10 Things I Hate About You”.Â
While watching the films, I realized how my view of these movies changed, and how in my teens what I thought was so fun and the best movie I’ve ever seen was just cringey and cheesy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy these movies, but my opinion has changed.
Different Love Perspectives Through Age
One memory that truly proves that love values are defined by age is when my mother and I first watched the 2016 film “Me Before You.”
During my first watch, I was obsessed with the plot line of the two main characters, Louisa and William, falling in love. To summarize, the slow-love movie is about two people who would probably never cross paths in their lifetime, but with the circumstances they were dealt, they did. Louisa has been William’s caretaker since he became permanently paralyzed from the neck down. Over time, they realize that they do, in fact, love each other, but William realizes that he is holding Louisa’s true potential by being his caretaker. The film ends with William doing an assisted suicide in another country and leaves some of his inheritance to Louisa to pursue her life freely.Â
My mother (43) and I (13) cried together at the end of the film. Personally, I cried for 15 minutes afterwards because Louisa doesn’t have Will in her life. It was a perfect love story that ended so sadly. While my mother cried for different reasons than the love story itself. She was crying over imagining what it was like to lose a child. She mourned for the mother, Camilla, who lost their only child; the mother who experienced the hardship of having a son who didn’t want to be alive.Â
Now rewatching the film again at 20 years old with experience of taking care of children through jobs. I can understand how my mother feels. The pain in her heart, from another small plotline, I didn’t realize was growing in the background. I only focused on the main one with a young couple, instead of the family or friend love.Â
Understanding the Feelings and Character
Watching some of these films at a young age, I couldn’t understand why the characters did certain things, like why they changed themselves for someone else, or how they fell in love with another character. However, with rewatching and having my own personal experience, I can understand and love the films more.Â
One movie that is a perfect example of understanding and relating to the film is To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. When I was young, I hated the character, Gen. I thought she was annoying and was just a bitch. Which, in some ways, she can be, but to be honest, she is just a hurt 16-year-old girl who is freshly out of a relationship and watching her ex boyfriend get with another girl. Anyone in her situation would probably act the way she did. I know I would.
Understanding the character through a movie was the main character, Kat, in 10 Things I Hate About You. She was misunderstood by her peers, she was a woman who was very knowledgeable, she likes to read books like The Bell Jar. She wasn’t actively looking for a relationship. She didn’t put men on a pedal stool. She is content with the relationship with herself. This is overlooked. We are told to believe she is damsel in distress and that she isn’t fine and needs a man, because during this time in highschool you are seen as weird without a partner. She loses herself while she is in a weird situationship with Patrick. Then, to find herself with him again. I don’t think we as a society value how being in tune with ourselves is a blessing and isn’t naturally given. It is a skill you have to learn.