How to survive uni-101: Roommates

November is about the time of year when the romanticization of living in a new place with your friends wears off and now you’re focused on exams and assignments. 

For me, November is when I started having the most problems with my roommates in my first year. Here are five rules to ensure a better roommate experience and prevent arguments and disagreements before they happen. 

1. Cleaning charts!

“We’ll just clean it after using it,” is the biggest lie your roommates will tell you.

Even if you’re all very clean people, it’s important to set out a list of responsibilities before your place becomes a mess. That way no one gets stuck waiting until they have guests over before the bathroom gets cleaned. 

2. avoid spending every waking moment with your roommate

Everyone develops a close relationship with at least one of their roommates, or at least that’s what happens in the movies. 

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be friends, maybe even best friends with your roommates, but if you’re constantly in each other’s space, you’re bound to get on each other’s nerves. 

It’s important that you remain an individual as well. Get off campus or out of the house and do things that you love! Make more friends and invite them into your social circle.

This ensures that when you and your roommate inevitably need a break from each other, you can take one guilt free. 

3. Set boundaries now, so you don’t have to backpedal later

Sit down and have a conversation about when you are prepared to be social and when your battery runs out. Discuss sleep schedules, noise control, having friends over, your comfortability with men in your space, and every little possible thing you can think of. 

Don’t rely on assumptions about the other person, because when you find out you’re wrong, it could already be too late. 

You never want a disagreement to start based on the fact that you never asked about how a person felt. When you set boundaries early, there is some room for negotiation and context in your shared space. 

4. Try handling conflicts with grace

It does no good for any roommate to hold grudges. You still have to live with each other for a year—at least. 

The worst feeling during a disagreement is realizing that your roommate isn’t really upset about the current situation, but one that was over with months ago. 

Make sure that there is honesty and genuineness in your conversations when something has gone wrong. Don’t be afraid to ask the question, “Is there anything else you’d like to get off your chest while we’re talking about this?”

Once you’ve addressed each problem, there is nothing left to be angry about. 

5. Don’t be afraid to SAY “NO”

You’ve already set your boundaries, but maybe you didn’t mention this one little thing or that other little thing.  Now you’re in a situation where because you’ve already said yes once, it’s unreasonable to say no—it’s an expectation. 

But that is NOT true. 

If you don’t begin setting those boundaries early on, the inability to say no will become a problem when your roommates keep asking you to do things you’re uncomfortable with. 

The more you say yes to things you don’t want to, the more you will begin to feel angry or upset with your roommates, but if you don’t tell them that, how would they know to stop? 

By being truthful and understanding, you can manage these conversations and negotiate something that works for everyone. 

Don’t FORGET…

Living with roommates can be hard if you don’t take the steps to make it easy. With the colder seasons coming and more time spent indoors, these types of actions become more important than ever. 

And if you make a mistake, it’s not the end of the world. Communication is the most vital tool in any relationship.

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