There’s a kind of heartbreak that doesn’t get talked about enough. It’s not dramatic or loud, and there’s no clear ending. It’s the quiet pain of losing a friend without any clear reason for why things changed suddenly. One day, the conversations were endless, covering everything, and then somehow the thread that connected us started to loosen. The updates became shorter, and the messages slowed down.
There is a void now where one wasn’t previously, and you still think about them when something funny happens or when “your” song is on. The realization that the two of you stepped onto different paths without ever truly understanding it, while the world just kept moving, is what hurts.
I apologize to the friend that I didn’t know how to hold on to.
I’m sorry I never saw the space grow between us, for assuming we’d always fall back into the place we were at, that life would click back into place like nothing. I had the chance to say, “I miss you” or “How have you been?” but I stopped, telling myself that there would be a better time later. I believe that’s what we both did, thinking that with time, nothing would change until it quietly did.
You were part of a version of me that changed. You were there while everything was overwhelming and unknown, somehow making it easier. You knew how to keep me grounded when I was crumbling and how to make me laugh when I took myself too seriously. I didn’t have to explain myself because you knew me so well. I feel that connection even now, despite our silence; it hasn’t entirely vanished, even though life has changed.
I used to think losing a friend meant that I failed. But growing up has softened that, making me realize that some relationships are formed to guide us, support us for a time, and help shape us into the person we may grow up to be. When something ends, its meaning is not lost. People can matter deeply even when the friendship itself does not last forever.
It reaches a point where, out of the blue, I miss you because of one of our songs playing, a spot we used to visit, or even an old joke that has me laughing nonstop. The memories no longer hurt because they remind me that my time with you was real and that I had been privileged enough to know you at that very moment.
So, I am thankful. I appreciate the support you showed me during my highs and lows, the shared little victories with me, and the moments of happiness that I could never have dreamed of. Our friendship was never a waste, although we changed in many ways throughout. It mattered and it still does.Â
Some people leave, but their imprint stays. It exists in the places, the music, and the parts of ourselves that they shaped. Maybe accepting that holding on doesn’t always mean staying close, sometimes it just means remembering with love and letting that be a part of growing up.