People often talk about having high standards in dating, knowing what they want and not settling for any less. However, most people forget that the same standards should apply to friendships. The people you keep around shape who you become and being too nice or deciding to make friends instead of choosing friends will cost you your potential in life.
how to spot toxic friends
Toxic friends aren’t always obvious at first. Spotting that your friend is not right for you is the first step.Â
You can ask yourself:
- How do you feel after you spent time with this friend?
- Are you satisfied with the way that your friend shows up for you in the friendship?
- What do you admire about your friend?
- What effect does your friend have on your behavior and decisions?
- Does your friend uplift you or bring you down
Then, think of what your ideal friend would look like and compare the answers. Is this a friend that you would want in your life? Make a mental or physical list of your friendship standards and hold the people in your life accordingly.
Recognizing toxic friends is part of holding your friendships to the same standards as you would with dating. You wouldn’t ignore red flags in a relationship, so don’t ignore them with a friendship either.
how friends affect your life
Bad energy is contagious, so you need to be extra picky with who you are surrounding yourself with. The people you spend time with influence how you think and act. If you are surrounded by people who gossip, complain and lack ambition, that mindset will eventually start to rub off on you.
You have to think about if the things your friends say, do and act align with you. You and your friends don’t have to be the same people. You can even be complete opposites in terms of interests and personalities, but it’s more about if their mindset aligns with your mindset. If you want to go far in life and they do too, you match. You might want to go to different destinations, but you both will uplift each other throughout the journey and that’s what matters.
ending a toxic friendship
If you are friends with someone toxic and you are hesitant to drop them just because you don’t want to be mean or alone, it means that you are prioritizing your past over your future. Toxic friends affect your life negatively and you have to put yourself and your future self first.
It’s important to know when to let go. The longer you tolerate toxic people, the more you are pushing away good energy and opportunities. When you have high friendship standards, you will walk away just like you would with a toxic relationship.
The aftermath of losing a friend can be stressful and tense. However, it gives you a chance to start fresh and is the perfect opportunity for a rebirth of you and your life. Be grateful for the good times and memories, but remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever. Keeping your friendship standards as high as your dating standards will ensure that every new friendship that you build will support the person that you are growing to be.
