When we are younger, the friends we make are based on proximity. We connect with other kids in our neighborhood, at our school, or on our sports teams.
When we enter college, a lot of us are breaking this pattern for the first time. Our friendships are no longer convenient. Maintaining relationships, especially if you go to a school far from home, can be difficult to navigate.
We’re told to immerse ourselves into the college lifestyle, leave the door to our dorm room open, and put ourselves out there as much as possible. But how do we do this and simultaneously make time for our friends and family back home when we’re not seeing them everyday?
My freshman year, I wasn’t prepared for how I would need to maintain these relationships that, for years, came naturally. I used to simply have to walk into my living room or drive down the street to see my loved ones. I had to learn that the friendships I really valued and wanted to keep in my life would require a lot more time and effort than they used to.
With busy school days and extracurriculars, it was difficult to keep up with texting throughout the week. I was so caught up in the excitement of my first year that I failed to prioritize what was going on at home. I knew my lack of responding only hurt my loved ones and made the distance between us feel greater.
So, I started scheduling calls with my friends and family to catch up. At first, it felt silly setting up a time to Zoom or FaceTime because it felt quite formal. But I quickly learned it was the best way for me to keep in contact with them during my packed school schedule.
I also learned how powerful little actions can be in maintaining relationships. Something as simple as sending my friend a Tik Tok or Instagram reel and saying, “Thinking of you!” helped make my friendships feel strong despite distance.
Just as I started to get familiar with how to navigate my relationships from home while at school, my junior year came along, and I studied abroad in Spain. I was lucky enough to make close friendships abroad but then was faced with the reality that when I returned home, they were all oceans away. I wouldn’t see these people at school, but I also wouldn’t see them when I returned home for breaks. How was I going to maintain these friendships that meant so much to me?
I had to get creative with new ways to keep in contact with my friends for longer stretches of time and with larger amounts of distance between us. My two close friends from Spain and I started sending each other video updates when we were walking to our classes at our respective colleges. We planned out when we could all meet up in person next and continued to put in daily effort to stay connected.
Now, as a senior, I’m more confident that post-graduation, when I leave my college town and enter a new chapter in adulthood, I can maintain these amazing relationships I’ve made through all the lessons I’ve learned.