This past summer, the internet was absolutely abuzz with discourse about Love Island USA Season 7. I can say I was one of many dedicated followers watching episodes the second each one dropped, then recapping, commentating, and debriefing with my friends as soon as everyone finished.
This season of Love Island USA was the first season of the show that I actually watched all the way through, however I’m pretty seasoned in my reality TV binge-watching from my dedication to the first couple seasons of Love is Blind since it originally premiered in 2020.
I love the comedic escape from real life (ironically) that reality TV provides, and see it as a great opportunity to follow the love lives and drama of other people. Especially after hearing all the hype about Love Island USA Season 6 from my friends, and witnessing it gain a large presence on social media, I was really excited to experience all the drama-filled, funny, and crazy episodes this summer.
Where’s the Love in Love Island?
However, as I got further and further into watching Season 7, I honestly felt baffled by how different my perception of Love Island had been from the true experience of the show. I was expecting to witness cast members develop romantic connections and find love, with some dramatic moments sprinkled in, that really tied the show together and created an overall happy ending. Instead, it felt like cast members weren’t actually trying to find love despite that being the main purpose of the show. It seemed as though many were focused more on physical qualities and appearances rather than actually wanting to get to know others for genuine connections. For much of the season, one of my biggest questions was “why does it feel like no one is actually here for love, vulnerability, and connection?”
We’ve Lost the Plot
This speaks to a bigger issue that reality shows meant to find love have really lost the plot of what it means to build meaningful connections in the dating world. I can’t speak much for how previous Love Island and Love Island USA seasons went, however I can say I’ve noticed this shift with how Season 1 of Love is Blind was to where it is now. I remember enjoying the original season so much, getting to watch people on the show find love without focusing on others’ physical qualities first. The season absolutely had its fair share of drama and plot twists, but the relationships overall felt very open, honest, and intentional, and some couples who got married on the show are still together to this day. However with each new season of Love is Blind, I started to notice that people were incredibly genuine, vulnerable, and open to love in the Pods (where they couldn’t see the person they were building connections with), but then their attitudes and commitment to love would change the minute they met their partner and returned back to their lives now as an engaged couple.
Even further, the desire for each season to be grander or better than the past ones seems to make the producers and cast members alike forget the content of the show that originally brought so many viewers in and continues to be what retains the audience. In the case of Love Island USA, producers kept an extreme focus on the drama in the show, which largely brushed aside quality air time for viewers to learn more about the cast members and for couples to work on building deeper connections within the show. Additionally, I think it’s becoming more frequent that people want to join reality love shows more for the purpose of gaining fame from the show than truly being dedicated to the experience and the chance of finding love. There’s a consistent pattern of many members forming connections and then switching up when someone new enters the show, or maintaining appearances as couples until the show ends and then cheating scandals and break-up news start rolling in.
What is Dating Now?
All this being said, I take the experiences that happen in reality television with a grain of salt. I feel like reality love is inherently superficial, at least a little bit initially, because its purpose is for television, audience viewership, popularity ratings, and profit in one way or another.
In general, there are many nuances already to what we view online, especially in regards to the definition of “love” even outside reality television shows. With this understanding in mind, audiences can still find enjoyment in aspects of reality shows that are cute, funny, and dramatic, whether or not the relationships and connections last after the show is completed.
My main issue I found after watching the most recent season of Love Island USA was not the messiness, the drama, or even the lack of genuine connections from many of the cast members. Most shockingly for me was that I didn’t entirely feel as though I was watching a romantic reality TV show separate from the real world. Instead, it truly felt like this season of Love Island USA was a representation of almost exactly how our current dating culture is. In my opinion, many people are scared of being hurt, judged, rejected, or even simply just vulnerable in romantic situations that we have completely ditched emotions altogether when approaching dating. Additionally, almost identical to reality TV, social media has created a curated space for us as a society to focus more on physical appearances than anything else. We promote or idolize drama, situationships, and conventional ideas of “perfection” (physically-based, personality, etc.) rather than appreciating people’s unique qualities. People are trying to approach relationships without emotional connections and vulnerability, and because of that, love in real life has started to reflect the inherently artificial and unreliable nature of reality TV love very closely.
Of course, at the end of the day, reality television is reality television and people should not hold reality love shows up to a certain standard of what love is and what it represents. However, it’s worth mentioning how unnerving it is that real “love” in our dating culture is beginning to look scarily similar to love portrayed on reality TV shows. There are many different ways that relationships, “situationships,” and friendships can be initiated and maintained. Everyone has different likes/dislikes, personalities, comforts/discomforts, and expectations and that’s okay. I think the most important thing I learned from reality television, and dating culture as a whole, is that these conversations would be just a little easier if everyone started being more open, honest, and genuine.