The other day, I mentioned to a friend of mine that I liked her nails. She replied that she only paints them to help her not pick at or bite them. I totally related to this as I sometimes try to do this, too. Instead, I showed her some of the scabs and scarring on my cuticles and my chipped polish, mentioning how bad my nails looked this week. Another friend chimed in, saying the same thing. There must be something in the air causing all this stress, we concluded. This sense of anxiousness and exhaustion is especially prevalent these days. All around campus, I see it, hear it, almost feel it. It is worth mentioning that I have noticed this especially with my female friends, too.
Popular music being released right now by female artists reflects this sense of overwhelm and exhaustion. I have noticed it in a few different artists’ works, so it is worth identifying this trend.
Taylor Swift’s album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” was released Oct. 3, and the marketing behind it reflects the tired girl aesthetic I have noticed around campus. The various posters and promotional photos for this album position Swift as the pinnacle of femininity in gorgeous, bedazzled showgirl outfits, while her facial expressions and body positions convey the draining aspects of her lifestyle. Swift lived out this glamorous exhaustion throughout her 21-month Eras tour, performing her physically draining concerts for countless fans across the globe. This album, written during the tour, created a way for Swift to express what the touring experience was like in real-time. I do not think the album’s musical elements reflected the aesthetic of the title or promotional photos, but the aesthetic it proposes is an apt representation of what it can feel like to constantly be living up to the expectations that society has for women.
Sabrina Carpenter partnered with Swift on “The Life of a Showgirl’s” titular track, which tells the story of a young woman who wants to become a showgirl, only to find out, despite being warned, that a showgirl’s life is not just the glitz and glam that it looks like from afar. Carpenter’s album, “Man’s Best Friend,” released Aug. 29, reflects similar notes of exhaustion, though with a slightly different focal point than the showgirl schedule.
Carpenter’s main point in this album seems to be frustration with men. Whether she is talking about immature boys in “Manchild,” the bar for what makes an attractive partner being so very low in “Tears” or the fact that there are no good men left in “Nobody’s Son,” this album’s message is monotone. Much like in her 2024 album “Short n’ Sweet,” Carpenter is unable to find someone who loves her and treats her well. The fruitlessness of her romantic aspirations is exhausting.
Similar to Swift, Carpenter has been on an arena tour for “Short n’ Sweet” since September of last year. Thus, this recent album was also released, and likely written, in the midst of a draining show schedule, which is reflected in the music of “Man’s Best Friend.” This is not to say the album is lazy or tired, but the nuances and variety that “Short n’ Sweet” provided are not evident. Many of these songs could have just as easily fit on the deluxe version of “Short n’ Sweet,” and only a few of the songs have the same hit quality that “Short n’ Sweet” delivers song after song.
Perhaps if we did not have the showgirl expectations for artists to constantly produce hits, this would be reflected in the quality and variation of their music. This view has been held by listeners of Swift’s newest album, with many saying it did not wow them or feel particularly different from other music she has produced.
I could bring in many other examples of this phenomenon; for example, Lizzo’s most recent album, “MY FACE STILL HURTS FROM SMILING,” which she released an extended version of on Sept. 5, also emphasizes how tired she is of criticism.
A final example of this frustration and exhaustion displayed by female artists right now comes from Lola Young’s album “I’m Only F**king Myself.” This album provides some thoughts on dealing with exhaustion. Whether that is driving away from our problems, finding new coping mechanisms and, most explicitly in “SAD SOB STORY! :),” just saying “no” to the emotional baggage that others place on you, this album offers some more hope. Nonetheless, Young’s album reflects some of the burdens that come with skyrocketing to showgirl-level fame, as she did after releasing “Messy” in May 2024, which subsequently blew up on TikTok. It should be noted that the album does not always offer the most redeeming or positive solutions to her frustration and exhaustion, much like how picking at one’s cuticles is not exactly a productive way to deal with anxious thoughts.
Having music that reflects my exhaustion and frustration with the world has helped me feel a little less alone recently. Not only does it put into words and catchy choruses how I am feeling, but it also creates a cultural reference point for conversations I have with other exhausted women.
There is a heavy burden on women these days to express a specific kind of femininity while tackling a lot at once. As Editor-in-Chief of SLU’s chapter of Her Campus, I have seen firsthand how some of our writers are talking about this issue. As one writer put it, you can see this shift in the styles of clothing that are popular right now. Further, the showgirl aesthetic that Carpenter and Swift express in bedazzled bodysuits is both praised by fans and questioned by critics who see it as too revealing. Many view these tour outfits as women wearing small bodysuits just to look sexy, despite this look’s clear references to old showgirl aesthetics popular throughout the 20th century, which were accepted as the costume used for those performances. Instead, women are now expected to live more traditional, conservative lifestyles, popularized by the trad wives of TikTok who do everything carefully from scratch and emphasize modesty in their clothing.
Though social media displays these lifestyles — that of a showgirl and that of a trad wife — as being lived with ease, there seems to be no way to exist as a woman these days that is not exhausting.
Even as a college student, though I am not on tour, writing smash hits or cooking elaborate meals from scratch, exhaustion impacts my work every day. This has been the busiest semester of my college career, and it shows in my dwindling hours of sleep and last-minute efforts to complete work on time.
There may not be a good solution to these exhausting times for women. Other Her Campus SLU writers propose some ideas in articles about the costs of burnout or how best to be a busy person, but nonetheless, this sense of never having enough time is on the minds of many. This is especially significant for young women navigating college and the new challenges of adulthood.
Whether you relate to Swift’s showgirl aesthetic, Carpenter’s “Busy Woman” frustrations, Young’s calls for self-reliance or simply pick at your cuticles more than you would like, I hope you can find a way to relieve your exhaustion. I am still searching for one, but at least I have good music to listen to.