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SBU | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Love’s Curse

AnnMarie Truesdell Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Being bisexual is a curse.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my sexuality and am comfortable in my own skin. That’s why I don’t talk about it much, because while yes, it’s a part of who I am, it’s not my entire personality.

However, there are still times where I want to scream into the void because of how I feel. Once you are out as bi, the way people treat you when they know is so infuriating, and makes me want to either yank at my hair or rip out the knowledge they now hold.

Straight girls tell you not to have feelings for them. Then get mad at you when you tell them you don’t.

Straight guys want you to kiss, or do more with, another girl because it’s “hot”. And again they get mad when you tell them no.

You’re too straight for the gay girls you take interest in. They either think you’re lying, or it’s just an ick to them.

And then the few girls you think things could work out with, you get too scared to approach and talk to. Or you become too close of friends, so you lose the feelings, or push them down because it’s not worth the possibility of ruining a friendship over.

At least in my case that’s how it is.

And let’s not forget the adults in your life who hear about it and tell you it’s “just a phase” and that “you’ll choose a side eventually”. No Karen, it’s not just a phase, I’ve made my decision even though it wasn’t a decision in the first place. It’s just how you feel, there’s no controlling it. I knew that it could be either one that I could fall for, long before anyone really found out I was bi.

I never even came out in the first; I didn’t want it to be a big spectacle. That’s not who I am and never have been. It’s not anyone else’s business in the first place either. If people knew then they knew and I didn’t care.  

There will always be the men who fetishize it, and women who run from it. I can only wish they didn’t.

I can’t control other people’s thoughts, opinions and actions. I mean I’m a control freak, so I definitely wish I could. But sadly… no can do.

 Instead I just keep going, trying to ignore them and navigate my feelings in this dark world of love.

AnnMarie Truesdell is the Events and Sisterhood Co-chair for Her Campus at St. Bonaventure University. She is from Southern Maryland and excited about her second year in Her Campus. AnnMarie intends on writing about many things including books, self-care, travel, and more.

AnnMarie is a sophomore at St. Bonaventure, majoring in Literary Publishing and Editing and minoring in Philosophy of Law and Politics. Her Campus is the first club AnnMarie joined at SBU but it gave her the courage to join many more. She is now also the treasurer for the book club and an editor for the Laurel. On top of that she is in the Honors Program at SBU and Phi Eta Sigma. Ever since she was young AnnMarie has always enjoyed writing and believes Her Campus is a great way to improve and learn from the sisterhood that comes with the organization.

Outside of her academics AnnMarie enjoys sports, reading, photography, and being with the people she loves. Her favorite thing to do is sing her favorite songs with her best friend. Along with read her favorite book The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue and watch her comfort movies, Harry Potter, Twilight, and The Hunger Games.