By Adi Arbell
College is a breeding ground for messy hookups and drunken nights. There is something exciting about going dancing with your girls, looking good, and flirting with new people. For many of us, a drunken makeout is just what the doctor ordered, and if things escalate, a spontaneous sleepover is the end of a successful night out. One-night stands are a common college experience, and in my opinion, they are sometimes necessary for some character development or keeping things interesting. If all goes well, you might find yourself receiving a “WYD” text next time you’re out, and now, you have just found yourself a newww…. Friends with benefits!!!! Yay!!! There is nothing quite like having a non-committal sexual relationship with someone you don’t talk to 6 out of 7 days of the week to make a girl feel better about herself!Â
Nothing screams college more than a good ol’ friends with benefits relationship, or are we calling them situationships now? Either way, we are going to dissect the myths of these relationships and then weigh the pros and cons to see if this is a good fit for us.Â
The first FWB myth, “there are no feelings involved.” To whoever started that rumor, you know where the door is. When things are still fresh and new, there is a fun spontaneity that comes with a fwb, you may or may not hear from them during the week and then you can focus on other things like school, homework, and what you’re gonna wear tomorrow. But what happens when you find yourself thinking about them or wanting to see them, not just for sex? What happens then? Here is when things get tricky. In all honesty, I don’t think many people can have sex with someone more than a few times and not catch feelings, at least eventually. But if you can, kudos!
The 2nd FWB myth: It’s drama-free. I don’t think any college relationship is drama-free, but you can keep telling yourself that. If anything, friends with benefits is drama fuel, but I’m here for it. There’s no better way to get a quick ego boost and discover what you like in the bedroom than by figuring it out with your new f*** buddy. For your case, I hope things aren’t dramatic, but if you’re doing it for the plot, just remember it will make for a good story one day.Â
Myths=debunked. Now, are we cut out for the FWB life or not? What are the pros and cons of a FWB? Some pros I came up with: freedom by not being tied down to one person, exploration of what you do and don’t like during sex, and fun stories to share with your friends during the Sunday debrief. Here are the cons: fwb can be emotionally confusing, leaving you questioning “what are we?” even if you agreed on just staying friends with benefits. The potential for drama is very high and it can be stressful to experience drama with someone you only have a specific relationship with, lastly, there is the potential of losing this person as a friend if things go south.Â
Though it may not be the ideal relationship, having a friend with benefits is a fun and interesting way to have the ultimate college experience. Even if things get messy, that’s part of the fun. If you can survive the drama and dodge the feelings, it might just be the most college relationship you’ll ever have.