Content warning: This story mentions rape and sexual assault.
“I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy a man had written me. A count down was started on my local radio show to my eighteenth birthday…the date that I would be legal to sleep with,” Natalie Portman said at the Women’s March reported by CNN in 2018.
One in five women in the United States has been through a completed or attempted rape during their lifetime. Another report states that 1.6% of children between the ages of 12-17 are victims of rape and or sexual assault. After someone has been assaulted, they can feel a flurry of different feelings, like shock, confusion, and physical numbness.
In 2013, the World Health Organization recognized violence against women as a public health problem after conducting a partnered research with the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine and the South African Medical Research Council. Children who are victims of assault can easily grow up and struggle with issues like PTSD as an aftereffect.
“In the first year, I was held up at gunpoint, raped on a rooftop with a knife digging into my throat, and I had my apartment broken into and robbed so many times, I just stopped locking the door,” Madonna spoke as she won Woman of the Year in 2016.
Studies show that 75% of sexual assault survivors suffer from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) one month after their assault happened. While every victim didn’t go through the same thing, they should know how it can affect them in different ways.
The aftercare of consenting sex is always mentioned as heavily important, but the same importance should be given to aftercare after an assault. Screenings for STIs, pregnancy, or any internal bruising should be prioritized within testing like rape kits.
Studies have found that victims of these assaults have resulted in the death of said victims or extreme injury afterwards. The same study found that women have a 16% greater chance of having a low-weight baby if the assault resulted in pregnancy.
There are many reasons why someone may not want to disclose what happened to them. Oftentimes, it’s the embarrassment that they weren’t strong enough or that it even happened in the first place. If it’s not embarrassment, oftentimes people are afraid of the consequences of telling. If it were a relative, a partner, or someone well-off and powerful, the idea of what could happen to them if they told is terrifying.
Even if you’re embarrassed or ashamed of what happened to you, it’s important to know that it’s not your fault. The bravery it takes to admit what happened wasn’t your fault will only bring you comfort. And if you tell your story, it can only encourage others to share theirs. Bottling up the feelings and never speaking up increases the stigma around victims, which in turn can negatively harm those who do speak out.
If you were around on social media in 2017 and 2018, there was a chance you saw the #MeToo movement, which only allowed survivors to find a community with others and also resulted in holding tons of abusers accountable for their actions. This movement sparked victims to talk about what happened to them and to seek out support, and in its own way, helped chip away the stigma of speaking out.
After admitting what happened to you, it’s important to know the resources that are available to help the healing process. Organizations like the RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) help support victims after their assault happens. With a simple Google search, you can find the National Sexual Assault Hotline, which operates 24/7 to provide any help possible.
Therapy is a widely recognized tool when it comes to any struggles, especially with things that can result in PTSD. Though if therapy is out of your budget, things like support groups could also be a beneficial tool to look into.
Rape and sexual assault are never a mistake, and victims should never feel ashamed about what happened. In the end, scars on your mind and body can heal, but only if you take the steps towards healing, no matter how scary it may be. Every woman has a story, but the story doesn’t end there.