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Two Ghosts Standing in Front of a Brick Wall
Two Ghosts Standing in Front of a Brick Wall
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SBU | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Ghosting People: Why?

Alexandra Iannarelli Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

So far in my college experience, I’ve had a couple of talking stages where we hung out once or twice, and it didn’t exactly go anywhere. One specifically was game-changing. Not in the way you would hope, though. 

I had known this guy in my graduating class for a couple of months over Snapchat, and we had gotten to know each other quite well. We had always talked about our similar hobbies and how we even share the same major. Our similarity was uncanny; it felt so perfect at the time. 

We liked the same sports, both wanted to go into the same career, and all the signs were pointing to us being a great match.

Finally, school started. That’s when everything changed. 

We had become distant, and our normal everyday chats were deserted. At the time, I didn’t notice that we had classes together every day, sometimes even multiple times a day. Our distance became apparent, to where I never realized he was in the same classroom.

Suddenly, one day, I got a random text from him. It was him asking if I was busy and if I possibly wanted to hang out. All of a sudden, all of the amazing flashbacks to when we would chat every day came flooding in like a tsunami. This was my chance! 

The night we hung out seemed so perfect, and it had gone so well. We talked in person for the first time, and we hung out for hours. We were all cozy in our PJs watching my favorite show, Gilmore Girls. No doubt we watched almost a whole season straight. Everything was perfect. 

Sadly, the clock struck 12 A.M. and it was time for him to leave. He gave me a caring and gentle hug and we parted ways. I wish I knew it then, but that was the last time I would see him.

The next morning, I woke up in a cheery mood, giddy thinking about the night before. We had texted a little throughout the morning, but nothing to write home about. The previous night we had spoken about hanging out more, and I was hoping we could as soon as possible. 

Unfortunately, that was a one-sided feeling. Although it felt like the night was perfect for both of us, he had thought differently. 

A couple of weeks have gone by at this point, and I haven’t heard much from him. Then it hit me, he had ghosted me. To this day, he hasn’t said a word to me, disregarding the time we had spent together. 

Within our generation, the idea of ghosting has been normalized. Ghosting, the practice of ending a relationship with someone without any communication or reasoning, has been standardized in the dating realm of our time. 

To anyone who has also experienced this ignorant behavior, my best wishes go out to you. No one deserves this type of awful treatment from others. 

At the end of the day, moving past these occurrences makes you realize the better option: loving yourself as an individual. I will say, it is tough seeing other couples and not being able to experience the first-hand love yourself, but overall, treating yourself with the kindness and respect you deserve is much more worth it.

Alexandra Iannarelli

SBU '29

Alexandra Iannarelli is in her second year with Her Campus! She is a sophomore at St. Bonaventure and is majoring in public health, minoring in health science, and is in the occupational therapy masters program! Alex will be writing weekly articles about anything in her life or even silly things happening around campus.

So far she has been involved in Her Campus, of course, and SBU Power Yoga. Beyond the clubs she is in, Alex also works on campus as a math tutor and loves to help and teach people.

In high school, Alex played volleyball, ran and did hurdles for the track team, and for about 9 years was a competitive cheerleader! Although quiet at times she is pretty outgoing and loves trying new things when the opportunity arises. Traveling is her favorite and she hopes to travel the world one day! Little things about Alex include her love for collecting records! She has multiple genres of music in her collection and she hopes to continue to expand said collection. Another little hobby of hers is going to the gym and doing yoga. Alex is into yoga, pilates, and she has been going to the gym for a little over two years now. She has been known to be somewhat of a health-nut, in her dorm there are protein bars galore and many other typical healthy snacks. She can't wait to continue her years in Her Campus sharing her stories.