I am the kind of person who loves to reminisce on the past rather than think deeply about the future. I have always been this way, and I’ve been especially aware of it lately.
I just turned 20. I’m halfway through college and have to start thinking about my career and independent adult tasks. My younger sister is graduating from high school this year. My parents have been talking about retirement. One of my grandmothers is not doing well physically and mentally, and my other grandparents have moved to a different state entirely.
This point in my life is full of huge changes and lots of emotions that come with them, which somehow led me to find solace in the critically acclaimed HBO mafia drama The Sopranos (1999-2007).
Now, the plot of The Sopranos is pretty standard. Tony Soprano is a family man, living in New Jersey with his wife and two kids, while also serving as one of the big heads of the DiMeo crime family. Both of these lifestyles, as well as the most aggravating senile mother ever put on screen, are topics that Tony reflects on with his therapist, Dr. Melfi, whom he sees in secret to keep up his tough guy act.
While I could do my usual review shtick for this show, it would not be very fair since I’m only halfway through. I do recommend it immensely for its incredible writing and character work, but that’s not what I wanted to write about.
In the first episode, Tony sees a family of ducks in the pool in his backyard. He feeds them, and a few days later, they fly away, leading to Tony’s first panic attack.
This is the catalyst of Tony’s therapy sessions and serves as the thesis statement of the show: Tony has a hard time dealing with his family growing apart from him. This is referenced more times throughout the show, with many of the older characters reminiscing on ‘the good old days.’ The series also takes place during the turn of the century (Y2K), which further emphasizes major changes occurring.
There’s something very relatable and almost comforting about seeing Tony experiencing similar anxiety and existential dread regarding his children getting older. Knowing that I go through this at 20 (and have gone through this for almost my entire adolescence), I feel very seen by this portrayal and appreciate the show’s efforts to express this heavy feeling.
One episode in the first season takes place during a college visit with Tony and his daughter, Meadow, where Tony has to balance being invested in Meadow’s future while dealing with someone who wronged him in the past. I remember going on a college tour like that with my dad, and like Meadow and Tony, we had a lot of deep conversations and got to know each other a little better. Meadow’s college journey was a plot that feels all too familiar, with vivid memories of my own experience as well as hearing about what my sister is going through right now.
Another story that I connect a lot with is that of Christopher Moltisanti, another member of the mafia who has a passion for screenwriting. He’s got a lot of problems regarding his loyalty to the family, as well as figuring out his arc, or who he is and wants to be. As a film major who often gets existential and is usually a major rule follower, I see a lot of myself in Christopher (but only the good stuff; he does get pretty questionable as the show goes on).
In the end, while The Sopranos is an incredible mafia drama for many technical reasons and has gotten significant praise for its epic story and characters, it’s the little moments that hit extremely close to home for me.
Definitely recommend giving this one a watch and thinking about it deeper!
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