Before I could stop myself, the word-vomit came spilling out.
I watched the entire classroom turn silent, and instantly, I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. All I wanted to do was grab my tote bag and sprint all the way back home. Not to my dorm, but all the way back to my hometown, Philadelphia, where everything felt comfortable.
Sound familiar? Well, if you’re plagued by the memories of an embarrassing moment, especially in the first couple of weeks of college, odds are, you’re not the only one. Existing in an entirely new environment and surrounded by peers, college students are very prone to committing an embarrassing slip-up every now and then. There is likely no humiliating deed, too big or small, that hasn’t already graced your campus. So, first things first: remember, we’ve all been there; embarrassment is an inevitable and totally natural part of the college experience.
This cringeworthy emotion isn’t all bad, however. According to Psychology Today, the purpose of embarrassment is “to make people feel badly about their social or personal mistakes as a form of internal (or societal) feedback, so that they learn not to repeat the error.” This definition, though not entirely comforting at first glance, reveals a crucial element of embarrassment: It’s a means of learning from one’s mistakes.
As new students navigate their unfamiliar campus, embarrassing blunders — such as aimlessly searching for a classroom while lost or almost getting hit by a cyclist on a busy road — decrease every week. Without these lessons, there would be no room for growth and transforming into a student truly comfortable in their collegiate space. The virtues of embarrassment (a slightly ridiculous notion) are evident in the maturity developed between freshman and senior year of college.
It is crucial to note that embarrassment is also a psychological construct facilitated by mankind in order to enforce social norms. Therefore, something is only as embarrassing as you think it is. Being true to oneself, though cliché, is the only path to authentic happiness. So, if that means playing your favorite Disney Channel tunes on aux or wearing head-to-toe zebra print to class, so be it! Real friends won’t care.
All this dialogue is insightful, don’t get me wrong, but in the heat of the embarrassing moment, all anyone wants are some substantial actions they can do to lessen the mental load. Here are my quick tips.
Ask yourself: Will this matter in three days? A week? A month? A year? Odds are, after a while, it won’t.
Talk to someone about it. Your classmates are a wonderful resource, as they’ve likely had an embarrassing experience here or there, especially the upperclassmen who have a few years under their belt.
Lastly, treat yourself as you would treat one of your friends. Oftentimes, we are our own biggest critics.
Go easy on yourself!
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