The summer before I went to college, my whole for you page on TikTok was how relationships never last when they are long distance. The thought of leaving my long-term boyfriend scared me. I had panic attacks and would immediately cry at the drop of pin. What I wish I could tell my future self was that long distance was probably one of the best things that ever happened to us.
For me personally, I feel as though I can be so codependent on my partner. It’s really hard when I’m at home – the only person I ever want to see or be around is my boyfriend. I start to isolate the world around me and all I focus on is him. I feel like there are so many other girls that probably relate to that. There’s no better feeling than being with your partner. But what I realized very shortly after is when my partner is not around me, I feel as though I have nothing else. I tend to push all of my other relationships and just focus on the one in front of me.
Long distance was amazing for me because I was able to focus on myself. Don’t get me wrong, my partner was never was an attention seeker or held me back. I held myself back because I was so addicted to being with him. Being away from him, forced me uncomfortably to push myself out of my bubble and meet people. And I am the type of person who flourishes on good relationships. Creating relationships outside of my personal relationship did amazing things for me. I was able to meet my best friends, get into Chico State clubs, and get into Greek life. I was able to do things that I probably wouldn’t have done because of how codependent I was before. I was able to get out of my shell, and so was he. He did amazing: he went to school, had a good job, and was able to focus on himself too.
What always worked for us was at the end of the night. We would always be able to catch up and let each other know what was going on in our lives. The constant texting throughout the day didn’t really work for us. We may occasionally text but it was never something that was forced. Catching up at the end of the day was so refreshing. I was able to shut my brain off and focus on him and not the outside world.
Now I’m not saying it was easy but it is achievable. In some ways I felt like I was living a double life. I have a life in my hometown, and I have a life now in my college town. But once you find that sweet spot of the balance, there’s no going back. You become a better version of yourself not only for him but for you. So when you see all of those rumors online saying long-distance never works, don’t listen to them. Long distance, no matter how far will always work if you put the effort in and create a balance. Remember that doing something for yourself is never the wrong choice. Putting yourself first and doing long-distance may be the best option for you. It will help you create a stronger relationship because you are bettering yourself, which in turn will help you become a better person within your relationship. Don’t be afraid of long distance, long distance grew helped mine grow to be stronger than ever.