Picture it: you’re counting down the days until you leave for college; you don’t want to go, but everyone is excited for you. They ask what you’re most looking forward to and you answer with what you know they want to hear: “New friends, of course, and getting away from home.” They laugh at your answer and tell you that you’ll be fine, college will be so good for you and you’ll never want to come home. At least, that’s how it was for me.
Now, picture this: you’re in your freshman year of college with new classes and new faces. It’s intimidating and you’re still trying to remember when everyone told you you’d do such a good job. Now, you’re counting down the days until Thanksgiving break. When parents’ weekend came, there was a sinking feeling in your chest seeing everyone’s family with them while you had two papers due. You had no choice but to just distract yourself. That is how it was for me.
Now, picture sophomore year: there are new classes again and a new schedule with work and extracurriculars that you’ve gotten yourself into. The feeling is still there, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’ll always be here. I’ll always long for home and my family. For as long as I’m at college, I’ll always wish for my mom or my little brother to be here so I can kick his butt one more time over a silly argument. However, I’ve also come to find the things that help me get through and I’m here to share them.
Call your mom
Just like the Noah Kahan song, you need to call your mom. Call your dad, too. Even call your grandma. Call the people who feel like home and make it a priority to be a regular occurrence.
It’s important to remember the people in your corner rooting for you and with you every step of the way. In addition to calling, make sure to let them know how you feel. It’s okay to call your mom and tell her you miss her. I’m sure she’ll love it more than you can imagine. Don’t make your mom worry too much, but let her know you miss home and think of her. Tell your dad you miss him and he’ll make a joke about it, but he’ll also appreciate the thought.
Always tell people how you feel; you never know when someone needs to hear it.
Keep little pieces of them around
You’re already the walking product and culmination of your family, so let that show.
For example, I have a lot of my mom’s clothing that she’s passed down and oftentimes I wear her stuff so I think about her. Sometimes I swear I can still smell her on me, and it makes me feel even closer to her. Furthermore, when people ask me or compliment me on her clothes (she had great style), I make sure to say it’s hers. Little things that remind you of your family, like a necklace, a bracelet or a keychain, hold more meaning than you think, and you’ll appreciate it when you see it throughout the day.
Make them part of you
Don’t go around annoying people with how much you talk about your mom, dad or siblings, but ensure you talk about them. Tell others about their birthday or something big that happened in their life. Others may not understand it, or even give you kind of a weird look, but when they think and talk about you, they’ll include your family. From personal experience, there’s nothing more heartwarming than when someone brings up your family and there’s a warm glow in your heart.
final thoughts
Ultimately, the feeling hasn’t gone away, and I’m pretty convinced I’ll be counting down the days until I’m home for break every year until I graduate. I have so much gratitude for knowing that I have a family who loves me and supports me. It’s such a blessing to have such a family to come home to, and if you feel the same way, please use my tips above. I promise they’ve helped, and it’s easier to get through midterms and finals when I’m not wishing for my mom to be there every other second. Trust the process and trust yourself and your ability to be a successful college student, even away from home.