Sometimes the smallest things bring the greatest comfort.
Almost everyone outgrows their childhood toy stuffed animal. They are boxed up in the attic, passed down to a younger sibling, or left on a shelf and forgotten. Mine never did. Even today, as a college student trying to balance classes, deadlines, and navigating what “adulthood” even entails, my stuffed animal remains on my bed. Its fur is rumpled, the filling is not nearly as puffy as it once was, and the seams are hanging on by their fingers — but that is just what makes it invaluable.
Holding a stuffed animal in college isn’t being “immature.” It is about security. College is fun, but it can be intimidating as well. With new housing, late nights spent preparing for finals, and varying schedules, it is nice to have consistency at home after a long day. My stuffed animal is never going to do my essays for me or help me study, but it reminds me that it’s okay to take a step back and relax.
Why do I still need it?
After a hectic day, there’s just something reassuring about laying my hands on the same old stuffed animal that I’ve had since I was young. It is like having a built-in reminder that, despite how dirty or hectic life gets, things remain constant. It does not fix my problems, but it makes them appear smaller.
I believe that’s the reason I never kept it put away when I first moved into my dorm. Dorm rooms in college kind of feel temporary, as though they aren’t truly yours, but a stuffed animal makes the room feel a little bit more like home.
Nostalgia with new meaning.
When I was a kid, my teddy was the protagonist of all my adventures. It guarded me against the monsters beneath my bed and accompanied me to all of my sleepovers. Now that I am in college, it has another role to play. Rather than banishing imaginary demons, it assists with actual ones: homesickness, exam anxiety, or midnight worrying. The item hasn’t altered, but the significance that I assign to it has.
That’s what I love about it. Every time I see it, I’m reminded of the little girl I used to be and all the places I’ve been since then. It’s not even a toy anymore — it’s a strand that connects past me to present me.
A reminder to maintain softness.
College can make you feel like you’re always having to keep it together, but sometimes the most grounding thing to do is let yourself hold onto the little comforts that make life feel less heavy. My stuffed animal might appear old and worn, but it’s evidence that comfort isn’t something with a shelf life.
So no, I’m not embarrassed to admit that I still sleep with my childhood stuffed animal. It doesn’t mean I’m stuck in the past. It just means that I’ve learned to hold on to the things that make me feel safe, even as the world keeps changing around me.