Time in the world is divided into B.C.E. and C.E. My timeline is divided into ‘Before Twilight’ and ‘After Twilight’. My entire existence was consumed by pale vampires taking off their shirts and dazzling skin. I spent countless hours making Pinterest boards to watch multiple, and I mean innumerable, interviews of the cast. Soon my conversations went from what’s your favorite color, to are you Team Edward or Team Jacob (and there is a correct answer to this). It got so bad that my film teacher bought me personal copies of the book in an attempt to shut me up about it. But I was so loud and proud of my unconditional and irrevocable love for this series; to my thirteen-year-old self, there was nothing that monumental. Even though people would not understand and discouraged me, I stood ten toes down on these silly little vampires being real in my life. However, as we have now lost tween art, a new hyper-vigilance has come through the birth of social media. Gen-Z has lost the art of being cringe. We constantly look over our shoulders and fight to not be seen as “trying” or being passionate. Passion is lost in our futile attempt to be “cool”. Being cool has been equated to not trying, while it takes a lot of effort to be seen as effortless.
In an interview with ABC News Australia, one of my favorite authors, Ocean Vuong, talks about the crisis within Gen-Z, our fear of being cringe, and how it is holding young people back. “They perform cynicism because cynicism can be read, as it often is, as intelligence,” he says. While TikTok might not be the most reliable source of information, it offers a fascinating glimpse into human anthropology. There are multiple TikTok videos where professors challenge their students to dance in front of the class for free absences or opting out of the final exam. Still, only a few students get up to perform the challenge. A video by user @matthewcpittman captures this phenomenon perfectly. Professor Pittman challenges his students to dance in front of the lecture hall for fifteen seconds in exchange for fifteen unexcused absences. For college veterans, that is a dream come true. But as enticing as it sounds, he is met by only a few takers and a largely unresponsive class. There are no cheers or shouts of encouragement from fellow classmates. The comments are taken aback by the students’ behaviour. Many noted that had they been offered, they “would have done it in a heartbeat.” The vast majority are held back by a fear of being seen trying by their classmates.
Ever since I watched that clip, I have taken an audit of my life and reflected on the numerous occasions where I have taken the back seat on opportunities because of the fear of judgment from peers. However, college has allowed me to explore different parts of myself.
This has looked like taking classes that would otherwise feel foreign to me. Because of my love for Twilight, I decided to minor in theatre in my first year despite having no experience. It was awkward, I felt behind and silly, and it challenged me in many ways. But it did not amount to the confidence I gained and the friends that I am close to, to this day. But that had to happen by putting myself in a space that was not only uncomfortable but also excruciatingly challenging. I opened myself up to face rejection and amazing things. My advice for your college year, regardless of your year, is to open yourself up to new experiences. This silly film had me try something new, and while I don’t plan to be a professional actor, the art of being “cringe” every once in a while will always be worth it because who are we without passions to drive us?
I might not be a superfan anymore, but I will be in theatres to watch them this fall and always have Twilight in my top four on Letterboxd.