At twenty, I thought I’d have it all figured out. Obviously there are the trivial things, like your style, your career and education, but what I really didn’t anticipate being so lost in and so focused on, was the huge mind-numbing question: who IS Frankie??? Like seriously though, who am I? And when will I figure it out?
I’m constantly trying to build and even perfect my sense of self, the energy I aim to possess, and my path forward. The truth is this though: it’s just not that simple.
Life shows me again and again that its rhythm has never been mine to control. Looking back on the past few years, there have been things that in the moment felt like delays, or things I thought were holding me back. In the big picture though, they turned out to be some of the most formative and teachable moments of my life. Sure, we should all have goals and things we are working towards, but in actuality- life is one big lesson in itself.
why patience really is a virtue
In this lens of life, I’ve been trying to learn patience. Patience is understanding that the “wait” in many situations teaches resilience, it teaches perspective. It teaches that life isn’t linear. We all stumble, pause, and circle back around again. We all try and self correct, all the time. Focusing on how you aren’t exactly who you want to be because of x, y, and z. Analyzing your flaws and weaknesses as something you need to constantly work on. Patience is the daily act of self love to let yourself change, rather than seeing yourself as someone who needs to be fixed, right now.
When you let the universe guide you to exactly where you’re meant to be and take every no as redirection, the path becomes clearer and clearer. You also must realize that there will never be a time where you are exactly in line with what you believe to be your utmost potential. There will always be things you want, places you should go, and things you think you must see and understand before you feel like you’ve completed your journey to your best self.
getting there
So redefine “arrival”, enjoy the journey, embrace the confusing jacked up mess of everything that we’ve made. The meaning of life is infinite, this world feels infinite, and what you can do inside of it is, you guessed it- infinite.Â
That being said, the best advice I can give to you as an unqualified 20 year old who’s literally just as confused as you are is that, whatever makes your soul happy in the now, on the way to the impossible destination you’ve set for yourself- DO THAT. Ride the bike, write the song, do literal cartwheels on the lawn at the pregame ( I did this on Thursday and it was awesome ).
The moral of the story is this, when you stop trying to force outcomes and simply learn to walk towards them without forsaking each step- things will fall into place. Stop focusing on the timing of each landmark you wish to reach within yourself, and in the material world, and focus on the path that you’re paving with your each and every choice.Â