Going through a breakup can be hard. What makes relationships so complex is that no two are ever quite the same. In the aftermath of a breakup, especially one built on toxicity, music can be utilized as a means of processing raw emotions and feelings. I, like many others, have found music to be especially healing when lyrics tell a story and convey feelings that are sometimes hard to articulate. This being said, the following are a few hand selected songs to cry, scream, and sob to post-breakup.
“Happier Than Ever” by Billie Eilish is a song that paints the picture of finding joy after a toxic relationship. The lyrics center around moving and healing, especially given the subtle descriptions of unhealthy dynamics within the relationship. When the chorus picks up, the tempo and intensity of the song increases drastically, alluding to feelings of both anger and resentment as Billie Eilish screams lyrics like “…all you did was make me f****** sad.” The lyrics ultimately end with Billie Eilish asking her ex-partner to “leave her alone,” a full-circle moment letting listeners know that she’s “happier than ever” without her ex.
“I Love You So,” written by The Walters, is a song that utilizes acoustic tones to elicit a sense of longing and love, yet the pushback in lyrics ultimately settle into a sense of understanding within the relationship. In this, the singer loves this person dearly, yet struggles with finding reasons for their unhealthy relationship dynamic. Lyrics like “you’re saying I’m the one but it’s your actions that speak louder…” gives listeners a glimpse of the internal struggle of a toxic relationship, and how actions speak louder than words. Similarly, the complexity of a toxic relationship can create the illusion of being in a stable relationship, making the action of breaking up so much harder to justify. Unfortunately, being in love and making a relationship work are co-occurring, in which both are necessary to make a relationship function and ultimately, work in a healthy way. The song also ends with a repeated verse of “I’ve got to get away and let you go,” encompassing the acknowledgement of the toxic dynamic and illustrating that the lyricist knows what’s best for them – to move on and breakup.
“Favorite Crime,” written and sung by Olivia Rodrigo similarly explores the idea of an unhealthy relationship in which both parties are responsible for the downfall of the relationship. In this, both parties are aware that they are hurting each other, like a “crime,” yet still stay in the destructive relationship together. The song explores the idea of coming to the realization that the relationship and relationship dynamic was dysfunctional, yet “bittersweet.” Like many toxic relationships, the dynamic between two partners isn’t unhealthy 24/7. Much of the time, there are still moments of positive experiences with one another, however, there are also unhealthy, destructive patterns and moments that together, make the relationship toxic.
“Promise” by singer-songwriter Laufey provides a new interesting take on a breakup song. The soulfulness and gentle chords creates a more melancholy feeling around breaking up, in which Laufey is able to perfectly break into. The song centers around this internal conflict about the emotions surrounding a relationship (both good and bad) and the desire to ultimately break up. The “promise,” that is consistently mentioned in the song, revolves around self-made promises that Laufey made to “distance herself,” further alluding to the internal conflict between wanting to break up versus staying in the relationship because of feelings of love that continue to linger.
Overall, remember that breakups can be complicated, in that they can stem from a mountain of toxicity, yet still be filled with a desire for love and connection. As mentioned in many of these songs, the act of moving on and ultimately blocking your ex, can feel daunting, yet powerful. Listening to powerful music can elicit feelings (and hopefully actions) that will further push the process of healing. So the next time you’re on Spotify, take a listen to the songs above, and you might just find yourself screaming, sobbing, and healing. <3