I replayed what she said to me over and over, wishing I had said so many different comebacks. I wish I had said something.Â
People always tell me I’m a non-confrontational person. This can be good and bad. However, I’ve always hated conflict and usually chosen to stay silent. My mom always told me to be “the bigger person” and apologize or end an argument even if I don’t agree with it. I’ve found this can be helpful in some situations, but it makes me feel beaten down sometimes.Â
I always thought I would be seen as disrespectful or difficult for speaking up and standing up for myself. However, there is a difference between sharing how you feel in a respectful way versus being disrespectful. It is not nice to yell or cuss at someone, but it is completely okay to express how you feel in a calm way. I am still working on even trying to use confrontation, but it is important to advocate for yourself and not let people walk all over you.Â
If you know you have to talk to someone, writing down ideas before or thinking about ideas in your head can be helpful. I tend to get very flustered when trying to confront someone, and thinking of what to say beforehand is very helpful. Confrontation is still very uncomfortable for me, but I think you have to be able to deal with this feeling because it is unavoidable. It builds self-respect and protects your boundaries. I’m learning more about how to stand my ground and that I deserve to be heard!Â