I remember walking through the college gates for the first time, feeling completely lost, unaware but slightly excited about what was coming. At the beginning of my college year, I thought I knew exactly who I was and wanted to be—I thought I had it all figured out. I thought that if I just pretended to have it all together, I would eventually achieve that milestone somehow.
Somewhere, along the way, I learned that being myself was not about having it all together or being perfect. It was not about knowing the perfect rhythm to the songs of my life; instead, it was about knowing how each lyric flowed and how it all intertwined. I had to unlearn the facades and masquerades I performed for the world and rather learn to embrace every version of myself, even the ones I didn’t recognise or the ones I didn’t want to face.
There was a version of me who was afraid to stand up for herself, afraid to be seen.
There was a version of me who thought she would never be enough—not enough to be heard, not enough to write, not enough to be who she was.
That girl couldn’t have imagined that one day, she’d stand here, writing these words. That one day, she’d see how far she’s come.
But through every setback, every mistake, and every tear, I found myself. And with every version of me, I realised that I was never meant to be perfect—I was meant to grow.
I wasn’t always this shiny version of me. There were a thousand parts that were rusted and corroded through the scars of others or the ones that I gave myself, believing that that was all I was made for. I had zero clue that what once used to be a weakness would one day become the part that I’m the proudest about. I joined college with the promise to put myself “out there”. Did I fulfill it? Initially, no, I never participated in what could put my art- or my words- in front of the public. I always felt like no one would get it because it was just too personal or too sad. Self-sabotage had become my best friend without me even realizing. First year passed away, and I had changed a lot, but what didn’t change was how much I was putting my art in front of people.
With every month that passed, every lesson I learned, I became a little more her.
The girl who dared to speak her mind.
The girl who found power in vulnerability.
With each passing day, I began to understand that growth isn’t always obvious. Sometimes, it’s in the way I now carry myself with a sense of quiet confidence, no longer needing validation from others to feel worthy. Sometimes, growth is in those moments of silence when I sit with my thoughts and realize how far I’ve come, not just in my accomplishments but in the way I now embrace every part of myself.
I look back at the versions of myself that once felt like strangers, and I’m grateful for them. I’m grateful for the quiet moments of self-doubt because they led me to the loud moments of self-discovery. I’m grateful for the struggles because they made me who I am today.
I came across HerCampus during summer break, and slowly, the strangers I met only once in an online meeting became the people I loved interacting with the most. This chapter gave me the platform to showcase my art to the world without ever making me feel small, stupid, or judged for it.
I started shy in terms of my articles, they were simple and safe because I was just too scared to be vulnerable. As much as I enjoyed writing that type of content, it didn’t feel like me. That is when I released my first extremely vulnerable, raw article, “The Mirror That Lied.” This article was scary to write and felt even scarier to publish. It was extremely personal, vulnerable, but it was who I was. The journey never stopped, and I never really realised how comfortable I became with telling my story in the way I felt was right.
And maybe it wasn’t always easy.
Maybe I felt like I wasn’t enough. Maybe I felt like I was too much: too loud, too sensitive, too raw. But in those moments, I learned something I hadn’t understood before: those moments were the very moments I was growing.
There were days when I felt like everything was crashing down. Like nothing was working out, like I was running in circles, and nothing was leading to the future I always dreamed of. But I always kept on reminding myself that it was the moments of struggle that shape us the most. When things got tough, when I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, I would pause and remember something important. I didn’t have to be perfect. I didn’t have to have everything figured out. What mattered was that I kept moving forward, one small step at a time. Even when I didn’t know where I was going, I was still going.
And with every step, I grew a little stronger.
Looking back, those were the defining moments. When I felt like quitting but kept going anyway, when the voices in my head were the loudest, but I chose to trust myself anyway. Those small acts of bravery—those choices to stand tall even when the world was pushing me down—shaped the woman I’ve become today.
Growth doesn’t come from staying in the comfort zone. It comes from the discomfort, from the moments that feel unbearable but that lead to strength. I learned that embracing the discomfort is where the real magic happens.
As I stand here, at the end of this chapter, I know this isn’t truly an ending.
It’s a transition—a step into the next version of me, the next phase of my journey.
I’m not the same person I was when I started. I’ve changed, I’ve grown, and I’ve learned more than I ever thought possible.
But I also know that I will never forget the versions of me who brought me here.
They were the ones who stumbled and fell, who questioned their worth, who couldn’t see the strength that others saw.
They were the ones who made it all possible because they kept going, even when they didn’t know what was ahead.
I’m still becoming.
Still growing.
Still learning how to be her.
And no matter where life takes me, I will carry every version of myself with me, because every version has a lesson to teach.
And so, while this chapter may be closing, I know that the story is far from over. I am still evolving, still becoming more me with each passing day. The best part? I can’t wait to meet the next version of me, the one I’ll be proud to write about in my future stories.
For more articles, visit HerCampus at MUJ and my author profile :)