Dating Apps: Hello or Heck No?

In my experience, everyone who says being single is “fun” and the “best times of your life” are straight up lying to you. Take it from someone who has actually been single for a while… It sucks and is totally overrated. 

I haven’t been in an actual relationship since my junior year of high school, and that was about two years ago. It definitely wasn’t the healthiest relationship either, which I think may have contributed to my longing more for a “match” with someone. I wanted someone who would compliment me (both literally and metaphorically), and who I could share a connection with. 

It seemed that everyone I knew was in a solid relationship, and I was consistently wondering when it was going to essentially be my turn. I reached a point where I was ready to actively try to find someone, which was when I turned my attention to dating apps. 

There is a little bit of a guide you have to use when going into a dating app for the first time. It all starts in the app store itself. Picking the right app is one of, if not the, most important steps. Again, just based on my experience, you will have more luck finding an actual relationship and a partner on some apps than you will on others. In the dating app world, you have what I like to call the Big Three. The Big Three are Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. These are generally the most popular/widely used dating apps. Categorization for the Big Three are as follows: 

Tinder: Tinder is great if you want something casual or if you are looking for a nonchalant hook-up. It is very easy to use; the swiping style of the app makes it very popular and accessible. 

Bumble: I haven’t really played around with Bumble much, but what makes this stand out is that the conversations between people are generally initiated by the woman. It remains the most downloaded dating app in the U.S.

Hinge: Hinge is marketed as “The dating app designed to be deleted.” Basically, this app is where people typically go to get into a relationship and find something more long term. 

I went on a couple of dates from guys I met on the apps. There were definitely some high and lows, but I am glad I learned how to handle the rough patches responsibly. There are a few things you have to be careful of when going on a first date with a guy from an app. 

First, you have to make sure you really trust not only the person you’re meeting up with, but yourself. If you don’t trust the other person, it can be hard to open up and engage in an active conversation. When you don’t trust yourself, you are more susceptible to putting yourself in risky situations with a fear of saying no, which brings me to my next point. 

Don’t ever, EVER, be afraid to say no to anything you’re not comfortable with. This can lead to so much regret down the line, and it is not an easy thing to live with. Personally, I let a guy take things physically way too far and it is something that constantly crosses my mind. I was relying on him to know I was uncomfortable without me actually telling him, and that didn’t work at all. 

On a more lighthearted note, you can’t forget to actually have fun. Even if you’re nervous or scared, you actually have to live a little and enjoy your time. You’re only at this age once, so why not make some memories. 

Specifically with the dating apps, not everyone is as who they appear to be either based on their profile or their text messages. I had to learn this the hard way, as I did most things with this process. 

You should know pretty early on if the date is going to work out or not. You can tell by the way you feel and by the attitude your partner is displaying. This isn’t to say that you can’t grow to like the other person more, but it will definitely be a gut instinct that you shouldn’t ignore. 

A side note for the first date: always make sure someone has your location at all times. It doesn’t matter what form this takes, but safety is very important, especially when meeting a total stranger. Give your location to a friend, roommate, coworker, or someone else just as a precaution. 

So, what’s my final take on dating apps? I would definitely recommend them, but you have to be ready to use them. Don’t get your hopes up too high the second you match with someone, because it could lead you to a big heart break later on. Dating apps are great if you’re trying to meet a lot of new people and see what’s out there. Make sure you pick the right one, especially if you are looking for something more long term. Don’t be too disappointed if things don’t work out, but also don’t close yourself off to new opportunities. Dating apps can be a ton of fun, and that’s really what they’re meant for. 

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• #datingapps
• #romance