For those who do not know me very well, I recently had a birthday. I am now officially 20 years old. I have learned from my 20 years of life, and I have more to learn with each age coming up. But here are a few of the things that I am not afraid to admit.
1: I overthink situations
I am not afraid to admit this, but I overthink situations. Well, let me be honest. I overthink every…little…thing. I overthink things that I should not overthink. For example, in the Italian class I’m in, we were discussing the different ways to say “I know.” I was able to understand that. But on the exam, I started overthinking the questions and asking myself things like, “Well, this person knows this, but does this person KNOW this?” Overthinking for me also makes my brain go against me at times as well. What I mean by that is my brain, or my thoughts, will make me believe that the people around me do not really want me around, and they are just pretending to be my friend. I am working on not listening to those thoughts, but that is how badly I sometimes overthink situations or issues.
2: I am a floater friend
Yep…there it is. I have finally stated it. I am a floater friend. I first thought it meant someone who is in multiple different friend groups and is able to adapt to those groups. Nope, I was wrong in that definition. Apparently, it means someone who never fits anywhere or in a friend group. It is someone who goes from one group to the next and only knows a few people in each group but is not in that group. I definitely know how that feels, especially from this year. Since coming to college, I have left friend groups because I believed that either they did not want me around or because I had done something to them and I did not realize it. So, I left maybe two friend groups my freshman year. I am still friends with them all, but I have taken myself out of the picture. The one group I was still in last semester, but I have since left that group because of an issue that I did not want to make worse. I have since re-found myself and I am in two friend groups where I am able to be myself.
3: I am ok with not being perfect
I come from a family where you “should” be perfect. No, my parents are not like this. I just want to make that clear. There is a member of my family who believes that everything and everyone should be perfect and that people should act like them. I am not like that. One of my old volleyball coaches, whom I love to death, also demanded perfection. I was in middle school. It was my first time playing and learning the sport, but she believed that we should have been perfect from day one. I never was. It was not until later on that I realized that I did not need to be perfect to do well in sports or in classes. I just needed to do the best that I could. I did not need to be, nor do I have to be, perfect.
Even though I have left my teen years behind, I am looking forward to what the future will bring and I am ready for the lessons that I will learn in my 20s.