We live in such a fast-paced world filled with expectations of posting on social media, replying to that professor’s email, and sending texts back quickly. This life can be fun — in moderation — but can also be oh-so-exhausting!
People always say you could pick up a book to read instead, start a painting project, or start writing a short story or poem. All of these, while fulfilling, take away the social aspect that draws all of us to social media. So, how do we have both a slower-paced life and social connections to people of many different backgrounds?
Drum roll, please: Welcome to the wonderful world of pen-palling! Here, I’ll show you how to obtain a pen pal, write to them, and, of course, a few safety tips to remember with this hobby.
Finding a Pen Pal
This will be the hardest, longest part of the pen pal process. To write to a pen pal, you need to find a pen pal first. Despite this hobby being a way to get off the internet, the internet is the best way to find one.
The easiest route is the Reddit page r/penpals. With a verification system in place, this Reddit page makes it easy to find recent posts from people with similar interests to you, all while making sure they’re real people. Finding people on Instagram, TikTok, or X are also valid methods, but this Reddit page makes sure you’re not mailing to a complete stranger.
Speaking of strangers, these methods aren’t the safest to use your exact address, and you really shouldn’t use your home address even if you find your pen pal in other ways. Setting up a P.O. box further from your house is recommended as both a return address and a receiving one.
Another useful service is penpal.me, which also matches you with someone with similar interests to you. Also, you design the postcards online, and the company mails them out physically from their business. This is the safest possible method, but it takes away opportunities to give gifts or scrapbook with cute stationery.
Finding Cute Stationery
My favorite part of pen-palling is the excuse to buy all the adorable stationery I wouldn’t have a use for otherwise. Bookstores are fantastic physical shops to get stationery from. Chain bookstores are always the easiest to find, like Barnes & Noble and Books-A-Million, but small bookstores need more help than ever right now to stay in business.
If you live somewhere smaller or have no way to get around town to shop physically, online stores are fine, too. There are large stores like Amazon and AliExpress that stock cute, cheap stationery, but they come with their own set of problems, such as child labor and fake goods from licensed brands like Sanrio.
There are reputable online retailers like JetPens.com, niconeco.com, and Etsy. Etsy is currently in a state of drop shipping overflow, however, so research the sellers you’re buying from to make sure you’re purchasing a real, handmade good.
If you’re like me and purchased too much stationery to write on, send it over to your pen pal as a gift! Receiving a letter from your pen pal using the stationery you gave them will fill your heart with so much joy.
Writing and Sending Your Letters
The scrapbooking and decorating portions of pen-palling are my favorite parts, but having a conversation with whoever is on the other side of your letter is also important.
Pen pals are usually found through shared interests, making that the easiest discussion point, but it’s also nice to talk about what’s going on in your life at that moment. Of course, remember that you’re both strangers, so don’t overshare. You both also come from different cities and sometimes even different countries! Differences in culture, the local shops and restaurants, and local events are all great starting points.
Safety is important here, too, so don’t discuss something that can give away exactly where you live. When talking about events, maybe talk about the closest city’s event rather than your town’s event. You may live in a small town near Tallahassee but only talk about those large events that anyone could’ve attended.
Pen palling can be daunting, but it’s also one of the most fun, social hobbies you can have. Make new friends, learn about new cultures, and get gifts from different countries! All of this and more are the beautiful things that come from this activity.
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