Meeting and Growing
Hannah and I met on Tinder, of all places. I had just ended a long term relationship after coming to terms with my lesbian identity. I wasn’t looking for anything serious — frankly, I just wanted to have a lesbian hot girl summer — but then, I met Hannah. We quickly migrated away from Tinder and began texting daily. We talked about our passions, hopes for the future, and discovered countless shared interests and values. Our first date was at a rock climbing gym (sooooo gay) and we hit it off immediately. We had a picnic for our second date and we jumped right into the deep-end, trauma dumping and gazing deeply into each other’s eyes. After the second date, we both knew that it wasn’t going to be casual.
Six months into our relationship, I went to the Dominican Republic to study abroad for three months. Hannah came with me for the first two weeks and helped me settle in. Those three months were brutal, but also amazing. Long distance was hard and there were a lot of tears, but when I came back, we were stronger than ever before and forever began to feel like a real possibility.
With Hannah, I’ve grown more into my true self. We’ve always prioritized adventure and spending time outdoors. With her example and her support, I prioritize what truly matters to me and I am the happiest version of myself. I suppose that’s how I knew she was the one; I am the best version of myself with her.
I love Hannah more than anything in this world and I know she loves me the same way, and that will never change, but the work we put into our relationship is what will sustain us. From the get-go, we practiced clear and consistent communication. We listen to one another without judgment — we listen and we don’t judge — and we support each other’s needs while also advocating for our own.
Getting into a committed relationship in your very early twenties can be scary; there’s a lot of growing up to do and the future is completely unknown. As our relationship progressed, it became clear that our individual desires for the future aligned in such a way that neither of us would have to make any major sacrifices or turn down important opportunities to be together. Adulting is scary and overwhelming no matter if you’re single or in a committed partnership — especially in this economy — so if it’s in the cards and it’s what you want, why not commit to figuring it out with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?
I can’t exactly remember when we started talking about the possibility of marriage, but it was definitely early (I mean we’re lesbians, what do you expect). It began with joking about popping the question, but after a while, the what ifs turned into why not and then into, why not now?
At first, I was nervous about the assessments and judgments that other people might make about my decision to get engaged while still in college. As I processed more and really thought about what I truly wanted, those concerns fell away, and I realized that the only thing that mattered was my certainty in my own decision. And boy let me tell you, I am so certain about Hannah.
The Proposal
Before I came to terms with the fact that I am a lesbian, I envisioned myself marrying a man and having a traditional, hetero-normative proposal — where the man plans the whole thing, surprises the girl, and gets on one knee. I always imagined a diamond ring, not because that’s what I wanted, but because it was the norm. So, when Hannah and I first started seriously talking about getting engaged, I felt stumped. I had always dreamed about getting proposed to — and I still wanted that — but I also wanted to propose to her. Hannah wanted the same thing and we wanted to do it at the same time, so we made a plan.
We agreed on a general time frame for the proposal and we agreed on the stone and the metal for our engagement rings. Our engagement was partially planned together and I knew it was happening, but Hannah planned out the location, the day, and conspired with our friends to create the most perfect proposal that I could imagine.
On New Year’s Eve, we drove up to Estes for a weekend getaway at the Stanley Hotel. Our first stop was Real West Old Time Photography. At Hannah’s parents’ house, they have a section of the wall upstairs dedicated to Old West portraits of the family. I remember telling Hannah a while ago that I couldn’t wait to be on that wall, so right before we got engaged, we did our first Old West photo together.
After the photo and a quick bite to eat, we drove up to Lily Lake. Even though we both knew what was about to happen, we were still nervous and antsy. The butterflies in my stomach were uncontrollable and I knew the tears were going to start at any moment. We walked hand-in-hand across the bridge and up to a bench, with a soft blanket draped over it, little lanterns, two glasses, and a bottle of champagne. We sat down on the bench and Hannah handed me a book. The moment I opened it and read the quote she wrote out on the first page — “There is no one in the world I would rather be too hot or too cold with,” Jack Pearson — the tears started streaming down my face. She made a scrapbook of moments throughout our entire relationship and the last page she added to had the title “Engagement.” Then, she got down on one knee and asked me to marry her. I of course said yes, and after admiring my ring for a moment, I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes too, thank God.
Right after Hannah said yes, my dear friend Sydney popped up from underneath the bridge we were on with her camera, soon followed by two other dear friends, both named Natalie. The five of us jumped up and down, cried, laughed, and let ourselves be consumed by Hannah and I’s love for a few moments. That night, Hannah and I entered the New Year as fiancés, committed to spending the rest of our lives together. I could not be happier.