I talk to God every single day. Â
My faith and religion aren’t things that I’m particularly open about. I know how many people have complicated or traumatic experiences with religion and the Church, and I never want them to feel as though I am pressuring them to agree with my beliefs.Â
I was baptized in the Catholic Church as a baby. I attended religion class every week from first through tenth grade. I made every sacrament from my first reconciliation through to my confirmation.Â
While my family wasn’t one to attend mass every week, the Church still played a crucial role in my life. Godparents play an important role in my large family, allowing me to connect more closely with the loved one who’s been assigned to be my Godparent/Godchild. I am extremely close with my Godfather, my Uncle Mike, who I also chose to be my confirmation sponsor when the time came. I also have the true honor and privilege of being the Godmother to my perfect little Goddaughter, Delilah. Â
My faith is something that is deeply personal to me. It has always been between me and God. I have struggled with faith and doubt and the Church’s role in my life, especially during my confirmation. The Church that I grew up in was very traditional and outdated on many topics. At the time of my confirmation, the Buffalo Diocese was in the thick of its sex abuse scandals, where it was revealed that the acting Bishop had covered up a large amount of the abuses that were reported. We had to be confirmed by this Bishop and were told that we needed to “defend our Church” during this time. At 15 years old, I started to question the Church that I had grown up in. I felt as though I could defend my faith, but not my Church during this time. Â
(Side note: They also told us during our confirmation retreat that Albert Einstein wouldn’t be in the same Heaven as us because he was Jewish?) Â
Following my confirmation, I began to distance myself from my Church, especially as I became more politically involved and did not want to be in a space that did not prioritize inclusivity and social justice. But I did not distance myself from God. I continued to pray and talk to Him. All of my journal entries throughout the years have been addressed to God. I struggled with how I could believe in a religion but not attend its Church because it did not align with my values. And then I came to St. Bonaventure.Â
At Bonaventure, I learned about the Franciscan branch of Catholicism. I began warming up to the idea of attending mass. I started by attending the Blessing of the Brains that occurs at the end of each semester to prepare students for finals. And then sophomore year, I asked my friend Claire if I could attend just a regular Sunday mass with her. At this first Sunday mass, the friar’s homily discussed how if Jesus were saying “Make America Great Again,” he would be referring to welcoming refugees and creating an inclusive and loving environment for everybody. I knew then that I had found a place to practice my religion.Â
Since then, I’ve joined Claire almost every Sunday for mass (I’d be lying if I said I haven’t skipped every once in a while). I now identify myself as a Franciscan. And as a Franciscan, I discovered that my moral beliefs can align with those of my Church. As a member of the Franciscan Justice Circle on campus, I was able to lobby on Capitol Hill for environmental protection bills to be passed. Â
My relationship with my faith and religion is something that is constantly evolving. I still understand why people rightfully judge and critique the Catholic Church. But as I’ve become more comfortable in my own beliefs, I’ve become more comfortable talking about them.Â
There is no right or wrong belief when it comes to faith. I like to say that I believe in God because I have to. I have to believe that there is someone, something, out there that has some greater control. It eases my anxiety to know that not everything is up to me.