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The silhouettes of a man and woman in front of a vivid sunset.
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SBU | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Learning About Love

Courtney Cianflone Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

I would consider my relationship to be very healthy. We get along really well. We almost never argue, and when we do, we work through it in a productive way and come out of it even more in love than before. Michael and I have been together for over a year and a half, and I hope for a lifetime more. Following a relationship that was far less than perfect, Michael has taught me what love is meant to look like. I have learned more about love in a year and a half then I have in my whole life combined. I have a totally new perspective of love and relationships. I want to share with you some of the wonderful things I have learned from my relationship about love. 

Love is patient 

I have learned that being patient with your partner is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship. I am sometimes incredibly dramatic and have pretty substantial mood swings from time to time and Michael has shown to utmost patience with me. He gives me space to feel my feelings and will spend as much time as it takes to make me feel better. He gives me space when I need it and waits until I’m ready to talk. Love isn’t about always moving. Love can be slow and kind. 

Love is gentle

Never once has Michael raised his voice at me. I have never been afraid or on edge with him. He makes sure I feel safe and loved all the time. His demeanor is so kind and patient. Someone you love would never make you feel afraid. Love is meant to be serenity. I’ve never known peace like I do with him, and I never thought a love could be like that. 

Love isn’t perfect 

Don’t get me wrong, there are days when Michael and I have had some disagreements. Arguing is natural, and healthy. We don’t see eye to eye on everything, and it took some time to realize, but I’ve come to learn that disagreements are inevitable. It doesn’t mean that there needs to be a strain in our relationship. It doesn’t mean that we spew hurtful and untrue things to one another. It just means that we have different views on some things. There have been times where we have gone a while without talking. We have had our fair share of bumps in the road, but after everyone, our relationship has grown exponentially stronger.

Love is meant to be loud

For the first time, I am being loved out loud. I have never once thought that Michael might be ashamed of me, which is something I had to deal with in the past. I assumed that’s just how boys were. The excuses “I don’t use social media” or “I don’t need to post about you to validate our relationships” was something that I thought all boys used. That could have been further than the truth. Michael posts our pictures all the time. When I call him while his friends can hear him, he still makes sure to tell me how much he loved me before we hang out. He brings me up in conversation, and he isn’t afraid to show me some affection in public. I can tell he is proud of being with me, and that is the most beautiful feeling. 

Each and every lovely person reading this deserves this kind of love. Love isn’t walking on eggshells. Love isn’t faced paced. Love isn’t being someone you aren’t for your partner. Love is about having a person who you can count on. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world if it is done right. I am so lucky to have found a person who loves me for me, and all that I come with.

Courtney Cianflone

SBU '28

Courtney Cianflone is a sophomore and returning member of the Her Campus at St.Bonaventure University. She loves to write about her learning experiences and personal a anecdotes to relate to and connect with other girls! Women's empowerment has always been something that she held close to her heart. Courtney has always been an advocate for women, especially those who do not always have the confidence to speak up on their own.

Courtney is studying marketing at St.Bonaventure University and Her Campus is her favorite part of college. Outside of Her Campus, she has been accepted into the Chamber Singers, a select choir on campus.

Outside of campus, Courtney enjoys playing guitar and singing. Music has always been a big part of her life. She also loves spending quality time with friends and family. Her Campus has helped her to have a place to write while being part of a wonderful sisterhood.