August 10th of this year will mark eleven years since I moved from Venezuela to the United States and my life completely changed. I have only been able to return to my home country once and it has affected the way I perceive myself.
When I had the opportunity to go visit the people who used to form part of my day-to-day life, I was excited to finally feel a sense of normalcy for the first time in a year. I missed having friends who spoke the same language as me and being able to see my family every week. However, I noticed that some of my friends shared inside jokes and memories about times that I hadn’t been present and it didn’t take long for me to come to a realization. Even though I had only lived in the United States for a short time, I had missed out on key moments that brought my friend group and family members closer. Quickly after that, the feeling of not being known or belonging anywhere became all too familiar.
After coming back from that trip, I gave it my all to fit in with the kids in my school, but that was a little hard for me since I couldn’t even speak the same language at the time, let alone make jokes or share interests with them. However, most of the kids were very nice to me and did their best to get to know me even though they could barely understand me, which I was very grateful for. But no matter how hard I tried to make my new life here, I struggled to feel seen and understood. This made me turn to the hobbies and sports I used to play in Venezuela as a way to feel normal with all of these new changes.Â
Despite all of the challenges I experienced early on, I considered myself lucky because a friend from my school in Venezuela moved to my neighborhood in the U.S. around the same time. She was one of the people who truly understood how I felt and I bonded with her because of it. She would constantly remind me that although we were now living in a new country, our roots were important and not to be forgotten. She helped me come out of my shell and feel more comfortable with my new life while also not letting me forget my past.
As the years went by, more Venezuelans moved to Katy, Texas and my small community began to grow. I found a group of friends that became my close circle, and although at times I felt more American than Venezuelan around them, I learned to appreciate the feeling because I felt more understood than before. They helped me stay in touch with my culture and language, for which I will forever be grateful. This made moving to College Station for college not as hard or challenging as it would have been. Having a smaller Venezuelan community at Texas A&M made me lean more on my culture and constantly indulge in our music, food, and even news.Â
Having a different background from most of the people in my community has allowed me to view the world from a different perspective and empathize with people who have a hard time feeling seen or understood. I am now proud to be both Venezuelan and American because it has formed me into the person I am today.