Last weekend, I was completely kicked out of my dorm room, basically without my consent. All my stuff was moved, and I had no clue about any of it until my new roommate sent a picture of my stuff thrown in bins and completely moved out of my room. I confronted her about this, and she explained that she was doing me a “favor,” as I was going to move it all myself the very next day, but it still didn’t sit right with me. After asking around for a little advice, every single person told me that what she did was disrespectful. However, a week later, this whole situation sparked some curiosity in my head. How often is it that people stay in a toxic relationship, whether this is a friend or a lover, just because they are being guilt-tripped the whole time?
I can count on numerous hands how many times people move on and then notice all the negative impacts that person had on them. Well, let’s just say I added one more finger to those many hands. I should have listened to the many people who told me that I needed to part my ways with her during my first semester of college. Now that it’s my fourth semester at college and I finally parted ways, I wish I would have gone my own way the second someone told me I should.
I did think many times about going my separate way in these last two years, but then I would tell myself I would be a horrible friend if I did this. If only I could go back in time and change all my decisions, maybe I would have had a better college experience. However, I can’t say that I regret any of this because, after all, it did make me a stronger person, as much as it was horrible to go through. There are so many more situations that have happened that I could share, but I just feel as if I am not at the point yet to do so.
Now thinking back, I am not a horrible person for going my own way to better myself. After all, I did still try to connect with her after we parted ways, but she is the one who is choosing not to speak to me, and there is only so much I can do at this point. Looking back now, I miss the memories we made, the good times we had together, and the trips we went on. But, looking back at the negatives, there were far more of those than positives. I sit in bed at night wondering if I should send a message or walk into her room and ask if we can be civil and still be friends, but I know that is not the case.
Sometimes, it is better for people to part ways and work on themselves, even when it does not feel like that is the right thing to do. Sometimes, having a few friends rather than a best friend is the better option. After all, I do feel as if I am my own person now and not trapped in chains doing everything she wants me to do, and this is what keeps me from turning back around and going back into the same negative environment again.