Have you ever felt an overwhelming desire to try to pursue absolutely everything or experienced an insatiable hunger to learn about every topic you possibly could? I have, all the time!
My list of pastimes runs long. I love fashion, music, shooting film photography, and writing, but I also want to learn to dance and play piano and guitar. I want to expand my coding skills and start my own garden. I could go on forever about all the things I want to do, but that would be too overwhelming, even for me.
The idea of finding a niche has always troubled me. I’ve felt that society has pushed this idea of finding your specialty so much that it has convinced us that pursuing one discipline should be the be-all and end-all. I’m relieved to say that I have abandoned the niche. At my core, I am a multifaceted being. I refuse to limit myself to only being good at one thing. I have learned that, ultimately, my abilities can stretch to wherever I take them. Life is so fragile and fleeting, so why should I subject myself to a one-dimensional existence?
There’s a lot of insecurity within my creativity, which contributes to these overwhelming feelings. My insecurity with my creative passions plays a significant role in my inability to fully indulge in my creative interests. Survival is a recurring theme. A lot of my energy goes into surviving the realities of my daily life, and with this, I’m left uncomfortably drained and unable to tend to whatever interests I may have.
But, above this, my biggest insecurity surrounding this topic started in my adolescent years. When I was younger, I couldn’t explore extracurriculars in which I had an interest. I desperately wanted to do gymnastics, take piano lessons, participate in dance classes and join a track and field club, but this just wasn’t financially feasible. As I got older, I battled with the idea that I might have possibly lost talent along the way into adulthood. What if I could be an utter creative prodigy, and I just didn’t know it?
Even at the age of 26, with all that I’ve accomplished, I’m trying to fight the ultimate battle, the one I have with myself about who I am and what I can do: the big imposter syndrome. Sadly, my insecurity with this has made me believe that not only have I wasted so much time, but I also have to accomplish all that I desire in a specific time frame. I’m trying to remind myself that my passions have no deadline.
There are ways I’m learning to navigate my passions better. For one, I’m dropping the comparison. I aspire to bring my ideas and visions to life without the fear of failure and pressure to be perfect because of what others may be creating or doing. I’m also learning to tend to my inner child a bit more by tapping into that innocent-like mindset to create more freely and to discover — and rediscover — what brings me joy.
Exploring my creativity and diving deeper into my passions has undoubtedly brought me a step closer to creative freedom. I’m now learning to approach my interests with an eagerness that allows me to confidently pursue my creative passions.
So, here’s to being creatively free!