Love is a chemical reaction in the brain with the sole purpose of attracting a mate. Sounds simple enough, right, Mr. Alien? Well, think again. Just ask humans—matter of fact, go ahead and consume any form of media we make! We’ve got oceans worth of movies, music, paintings, and books that circumscribe every aspect of it. It’s far too powerful to be just any other biological reaction—it’s primordial and persistent.
People live for love, kill for love and they die for love
~Helen Fischer
Why it hits so hard: the science behind it
Love isn’t merely a fairy tale we dream about; it’s a rush of dopamine coursing through our veins. Our brain rewards us for engaging in love—that’s evolution for you folks.
And here’s the catch: this very dopamine is the reason the current dating lacks that chemistry. We replace the dopamine we receive from meaningful activities with the instant gratification that comes from doom scrolling.
Recent brain scans have shown that feelings associated with love activate areas of the brain similar to those triggered by substances like morphine and cocaine. This connection explains why we can develop such an addiction to love, often leading us to ruminate constantly about the other person.
Body’s Craving for Closeness
Love isn’t only a mental experience; it also involves the body. Just as bees instinctively seek nectar from flowers, our bodies crave love. This longing can be intense and undeniable, creating a rush of feelings that we may understand on some level, yet often feel powerless to resist. That’s why being alone and having no physical connection for a long time feels like impending doom. Touch isn’t a luxury by any means; it’s a biological need. Without it, we feel disconnected not only from striving and bustling human society but also from our very own element. It’s a primal urge that pulls us into a dramatic showdown between pleasure and peril. It’s as if we’re thrown into a high-stakes game where every choice matters and the stakes are all or nothing. Betting it all on black and impatiently waiting to see if you’ll buy your wife that necklace or sign a divorce.
Nudity: Shame or Freedom?
And while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of lonelinessAnd while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of loneliness.And while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of loneliness.And while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of loneliness.And while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of loneliness.And while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of loneliness.And while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of loneliness.And while this need for touch is primal, sex in a relationship can be a complex experience, offering both deep rewards and feelings of loneliness. It triggers a primal response that can enhance the bond between partners—bringing them closer than ever. Yet, this powerful connection can sometimes become a power struggle, as these intense feelings may be manipulated, making one partner feel reduced to a mere body, faceless, distorting her sense of self.
Furthermore, the emotional chemistry at play can be quite misleading. For instance, during sex, women release oxytocin—a hormone tied to trust, emotional bonding, and attachment. While this can create a sense of closeness, it may also lead us to misinterpret a connection that isn’t truly there. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for navigating the complexities of intimacy in a relationship.
This nakedness isn’t just physical but emotional too; all your acts are dropped, along with all insecurities and body image, right in front of the one you tried to hide it the most from. There’s nothing to hide behind or to seek acceptance and validation for our most authentic selves—the face only we truly know.
But we’re so okay here, we’re doing fine
Primal and naked
~ Frank Ocean, White Ferrari
Moh—When Love Becomes Lust
In our quest for love, the brain rewards us—but if we chase only the high, it can often leave us astray. Thus turning us into skirt-chasing dopamine junkies.
Lust, like love, is primal. It’s just as strong. But unlike love, it is fleeting. It thrives in novelty, in the thrill of possession. The body craves, but it does not commit. It desires, but it does not endure. The moment the butterflies settle, the illusion shatters.
When love is built solely on physical attraction, it becomes fragile—something to be clung to rather than something that holds on its own. The moment one partner stops feeling desired, insecurity creeps in, and the relationship becomes a chase, a desperate attempt to sustain a passion that was never meant to last.
Moh is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It feeds on infatuation, but it does not nurture. The more you chase it, the more it slips away.
But not all physical attraction is empty. Sometimes, it is fuelled by something far deeper—an emotional pull that transcends the body. Love that is not just seen but felt.
I am Laila, you’re just not Majnun.
~ Rumi.
Majnun’s love was not about Laila’s beauty alone—it was about her, the soul he saw beyond the skin.
When desire is intertwined with emotional intimacy, it ceases to be just lust; it becomes something real.
But enough with that scary psychology; I’ve hit my word count, so let’s wrap this up with what we have learnt. Love is basically a drug; our brains are out to get us, and relationships are one big gamble between passion and power struggles.
So, what’s the takeaway? Love—ah, the tragic paradox! boo hoo!
It’s a deep psychological maze to satisfy needs that’ll never truly be.You are now successfully equipped with the right tools to understand it and traverse carefully through it. Or, alternatively, you could just put it all on black, crack open a beer, and watch the game.
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