This year, I moved in with my long-term boyfriend, and it was such an exciting milestone in our relationship. Unfortunately, as the initial thrill of late-night movies and breakfast in bed settled into grocery lists and laundry schedules, I realized that maintaining the spark of our relationship would take a little more effort. Now, this is not me trying to be a cynic because living together is truly amazing, we just needed to find the right balance between life and our relationship. Through trial and error, I’ve learned a few secrets that help us nurture the romance and excitement in our long-term relationship.
1. Never stop datingÂ
Just because you’ve moved in together doesn’t mean date nights should become a thing of the past. My partner and I set aside one night a week for a dedicated date, and one night a month, we have a fancy dinner date. I have found that our weekly cozy nights with homemade pizza and a movie not only bring us closer as a couple but also help us settle down from our hectic weeks. Prioritizing this time reminds us why we fell in love in the first place.
2. Keep surprising each other
Routine can be comforting, but surprises keep things exciting. These little gestures make a big difference, whether it’s leaving a cute note in their work bag or planning a spontaneous weekend getaway. One of my favorite moments was when my partner surprised me with my favorite dessert after a long day — it was simple, but it meant the world. We also try to create cute little baskets for essential holidays, whether that be a “boo basket” for Halloween or a “brr basket” for Christmas. Supporting each other with these thoughtful gifts makes a difference in keeping romantic gestures alive.Â
3. Communicating openly and often
I have learned from living together that you will experience each other’s best and worst moods. A way that my partner and I have found helps settle these moods or understand one another is to be open and honest. Communication is key to ensuring that small annoyances don’t turn into major conflicts, so take the time to check in with one another. This does not necessarily need to be a daily occurrence but rather a weekly check-in. We make it a point to check in with each other once a week, sharing our highs and lows, dreams, and concerns. Which I think keeps us emotionally connected beyond the day-to-day routines.
4. Show appreciation daily
It’s easy to take each other for granted when you share a space, but acknowledging the little things — like making coffee in the morning or taking out the trash without being asked — goes a long way. A simple “thank you” or an unexpected hug makes everyday life special. Again, like everything else I have mentioned, appreciation does not necessarily need to be huge gestures but small daily acts of kindness for your partner. Â
Keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship isn’t about chasing the highs of the honeymoon phase — it’s about growing together, finding excitement in the little things, and choosing to love each other every single day. Through my own experiences, I’ve learned that it’s not grand gestures that sustain love, but the laughter over inside jokes, the comfort of a familiar touch, and the effort we put into truly seeing each other. It takes work, but the reward is a love that doesn’t just last — it deepens, making even the most ordinary days feel extraordinary.