I am part of that sad, sad group of poor, unfortunate souls who, in an attempt to avoid ghost-clicking on an app that was useless, deleted TikTok from our phones instead of just our home screens. As soon as I got rid of the app I found myself questioning the longevity of this so-called “ban.” I knew immediately that I had made a grave and terrible mistake when the screenshots of the “welcome back” messages on everyone’s For You Pages started being sent in group chats and posted on Instagram stories.
Attempting To Fill The Void
For a few days I was in mourning, scrolling through Instagram Reels in search of the unbeatable euphoria that used to be at my fingertips on TikTok, but there was not a Paul Mescal edit or good “Thrift With Me” in sight. I was devastated, longing for the comfort of my perfectly curated FYP, and sinking into despair at the barren wasteland that was Reels.
To be real for a second, I am fully aware that getting rid of TikTok is definitely leagues away from the worst thing to happen to anyone. However, there is no hiding how much value our generation places in social media, and how much of modern pop-culture references are born in the shady corners of TikTok.
It is a very isolating feeling to not understand what people are referencing in a group setting, or be utterly confused when a bit is recited in unison by your friends. Just imagine trying to explain “skibidi toilet” to anyone who isn’t online. That is pretty representative of how little I know about what is happening on TikTok right now.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel
As much as it sucked in the beginning, it has since forced me to fill the empty space in my life which doom scrolling used to inhabit with other forms of entertainment. Reels was useful for that when everyone was off TikTok and creators were posting cool things on Instagram instead, but since most of the original users have migrated back, there is less and less content that is actually enjoyable.
As I found myself increasingly uninterested in Reels, I returned to my tweenage safe space: YouTube. I find that the content that I watch on YouTube is so much more interesting than what I used to watch on TikTok, partly because the videos are of a longer format so there is more of a chance for cool dialogue by the creator. It is also due to my new appreciation for travel vlogs, which both make me sad that I am broke and motivate me to get a job so I too can fly to Croatia on a whim.
Since YouTube is a longer format, I also spend less of my time on my phone when I am trying to study, when I am eating alone, or when I am in the middle of things and have a few spare minutes. If I do need a quick scroll, I spend that time on Pinterest instead of Instagram, which has inspired me to spend time in my long neglected junk journal and sketchbook.
The Best Thing Ever
I am spending so much more time with my nose in a book instead of a screen, and picking up projects that I haven’t spent time on in ages. I think that, although I never would have deleted TikTok on my own out of fear of losing the social connection, I wouldn’t re-download it even if I was able to. I have become significantly less reliant on my iPad kid time, and while I still spend probably too much time on screens, I feel more productive.
I definitely miss parts of the app, like the comfort of my For You page, filled with my favorite creators cooking and thrifting and drawing, but now I spend more time doing all of those things in my life, rather than watching others do them and thinking about how cool they are for it. I am able to focus when I am studying, or writing for Her Campus, or having a conversation, without the allure of instant gratification endorphins. It turns out that my ostracization from the belly of pop culture has forced me into being a more creative, driven person.
Am I never on my phone? No. Did I take up meditation and find inner peace? Not even close. I can’t promise that deleting TikTok will solve all of your problems and make you a better human being, but, in my life at least, there have been quantifiable benefits, and honestly? I don’t regret it at all.