According to my birth certificate I’m 20 years and 5 days old.
My teenage years passed me by through a whirlwind of a global pandemic, work, and school, leaving me very little time to sit down and take a breather; it’s been over a month since I turned 20 (devastating, I know). Reflecting on my teenage years, I realize there’s very little I hope to bring into my 20s with me. As I reflect on the past decade, here are a few things I wished I had realized earlier.
- Chill out
-
Your life won’t come crashing down if you quit that job you got at 14, your siblings won’t curse you to death if you say no one time, and if you hand in that assignment late, you’re not going to get kicked out of school. Be calm. Breathe. Maybe start a journal? Stop trying to plan your life 5 years ahead; it’ll only make you more anxious. Live in the moment.
- You can’t take on life alone
-
Reach out to your friends when you miss them, agree to hang out more often, share your feelings, stop and smell the roses. Life as we know it is changing rapidly, and whether we realize it or not, we are slowly becoming more self-reliant. I love being alone, my free time, and the peace that comes with silence and darkness. But I also love laughs and the mindless chats with my friends and family. Trying to live on the outskirts of friendships and family isn’t any way to live when you have people who love and cherish you.
- Say yes to yourself more often
-
In October, I went to a concert alone for the first time on a complete whim after contemplating getting tickets for 3 months. It just so happened that one of my favorite artists was performing that night. The pent-up fatigue from working all summer and the semester’s stress instantly left my body as the music I’d only ever listened to while commuting to school and work was being played live in front of my face. Robbing yourself of life-changing experiences over the fear of being there alone or the money potentially not being worth it is something I’d done all through my teenage years; just say yes.
- Don’t be afraid to say no
-
Contrary to what you believe, it won’t be the end of the world if you say no. Say no to covering co-workers’ shifts, and don’t feel the weight of the world coming down on you for saying no. Say no to your siblings asking (more like begging) for a bite of something you worked really hard to make. Don’t wear yourself thin trying to come up with an excuse. Leave some gas in your tank, and just say no when you don’t want to.
- Touch grass
-
I remember scoffing at the gym teacher when I was 8 years old, when they mentioned that being active for 60 minutes daily is one of the best ways to be healthy. I thought they meant running around; by that age, I was already running track and cross country and cartwheels all over the field by my house with my friends. Yet they wanted me to do more? No way! But as I went through my teenage years, I found myself going outside less. If I didn’t have school, I had work, and at work, I would be holed up in a grocery store in front of a hot oven from morning to night. When I finally did have a day to myself, I’d be lying in my dark, cold room, absolutely exhausted. Go outside, run, walk, sit by the dock at that lake you loved as a child, grab a chai; just go outside. You’ll thank yourself later.
Throughout my 20s, I want to be able to experience life in an almost spontaneous way; I want to remind myself that life isn’t meant to be lived waiting for the next shoe to drop. Take the moment and live in it, only then will you come close to finding a semblance of joy.