Family. The word alone sounds daunting at times and exciting at others. The relationships we have with family members throughout our lives determine the decisions we make, how we see the world, and what our life goals are. In college (arguably one of the most formative experiences in life), family dynamics can change drastically and quickly.
Leading up to leaving for college was a stressful time, as I was trying to ensure everything was ready for my move (many, many Target runs and going through EVERYTHING I owned included) and spending time with my parents. Looking back, I wasn’t super appreciative of the opportunity my parents gave me by being able to move out. Granted, I can see them anytime, as I only moved 15 minutes away. I realized, a little too late, that my moving out, even if it was only 15 minutes away, was harder on my parents than it was on me. It was difficult for me to see their point of view when it came to quality time, and I was more focused on how annoyed I was rather than appreciating their love for me.
Being in the dorm was a lot harder than I expected it to be and I found myself missing constant company. I still called my parents regularly and visited about once a week, but I downplayed how much I was struggling. I should’ve just told them how I was feeling and accepted their support, but being the stubborn person I am, I held onto those feelings. I moved back in the following summer, and the time I spent alone allowed me to know what I missed about being home and what I valued about being alone.
When I realized that I wanted to improve the communication between me and my family, it took a bit of adjusting. I had to open up about how I felt and why I was hesitant to tell them everything going on in my life. When I explained my hesitation to do so, my parents were understanding and extended their hand to whatever I needed. It took me a long time to notice, but my parents had done that for me all along, I was just too wrapped up in what they would think of my actions to notice. Once I got over that fear, I was able to improve the relationship overall.
Now, having lived alone for about 2.5 years, I’ve only grown to love my family more. The time I make for my family is precious, and I appreciate every second. I call a lot more than I used to, and being more open about the problems I’m having lifts a huge weight off my chest. Talking to my family about what’s going on in my life has been a blessing, and I’m trying to make up for the lost time I didn’t take advantage of. Having my own space is a necessity, but seeing my family often and talking to them helps me reset my brain and realize what’s important amidst the hustle and bustle of college life.