My Thoughts Going into Summer, Knowing I Will Not Be Back Until January 2025

I genuinely adore Holy Cross. The first few weeks of my freshman year, I would just call my mom and say how much I loved it. I felt like I had found my home here. I felt like for the first time I could actually be myself at school, and I didn’t have to put on this facade. However, nothing is ever completely perfect, and to be completely honest, there have been quite a few nights where I just cried because I was so overwhelmed with schoolwork, or friendship drama, or was just so emotionally drained. I would cry to my mom saying I just wanted to go home, lay in my own bed, and not worry about all the schoolwork I had. All of this is to say that although I have had my fair share of ups and downs while at Holy Cross, I still love it, and I still believe this is the place for me. Yet, as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I believe that will happen here. 

Coming into college, I knew I wanted to go abroad for a semester. Being immersed in a different country and different culture was important to me, so leaving was something I was planning on for a while, not just a spur-of-the-moment decision. Even though this is something I know I have been wanting for years at this point, I still find myself questioning if this is right, and if I am ready for this. However, I know I need to do this because if I don’t, then I’ll regret it. 

I’m honestly so lucky because I am going to Ireland with my good friend, a person I have that I know I can trust no matter what, and I am so lucky to have her by my side. I am excited to go on this adventure and have the ability to travel because I know once I am over in Ireland, it will be so easy to travel to the rest of Europe. I am a huge traveler, and I am already planning weekend trips to London and different parts of Spain. I am also looking forward to the slight break in academic work. I know I won’t just be traveling and having fun while abroad, I still have to go to classes and do the work, but I also know I won’t be drowning in as much work as I am here. There really is so much I am looking forward to while being in Dublin with my friend, but no matter how perfect it may seem, I will always have my uncertainties. 

Going abroad in the fall was definitely not my first choice. I was really hoping to experience spring in Ireland, and I really did not want to miss fall on campus. I also think that maybe part of me just didn’t think I would be ready to leave yet. Yet, fall in Dublin was what I was given, and I know things really do happen for a reason, and I am just going to have to trust it. 

No matter what, I know I am going to miss my home at Holy Cross, but like I said earlier, I think having a break from school and the same social circle will be good. I know me, and I know spending too much time in the same place or being with the same people all the time can make me feel trapped, so leaving the country for a few months is exactly what I need. I am definitely nervous about leaving my family for so long, but I am so excited about all the opportunities this adventure holds. 

• college
• leaving college
• study abroad
• summer break