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SBU | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

What Not to Do With Love

Rebecca Schneider Student Contributor, St. Bonaventure University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Love is the simplest form of emotion, yet it is the most complicated. You have probably gone your whole life experiencing love whether it stems from love within your family and relationships, loving a favorite stuffed animal as kid or loving a favorite song or movie. Whatever it is, love is all around, and everyone feels it. I believe there are four “don’ts” when it comes to the overcomplicated emotion that is love.

But, before the list, just remember everyone shows love differently and some do genuinely struggle to show love. Just because someone shows love differently from you, or not in the same amount, does not mean the love presented is not equal, it’s simply different.

1. Don’t give love where it does not belong

END THE SITUATIONSHIP!! END THE FRIENDSHIPS!! QUIT THE JOB!! If you are in a situation or relationship where you are putting your love, time, money, effort and happiness into it, yet, you do not see any of it reciprocated, LET IT GO. Take back your self-respect and put that love into yourself, different relationships, and other hobbies to where you will feel cared for, respected, and loved.

2. Don’t miss the chance to express your love.

Say it as often as you can (when they deserve it). You will never regret telling your best friends, significant other or family members you love them and appreciate them. You can either tell them just in general that you love them or after an activity. For example, say you and your best friend just took a nice relaxing and peaceful walk and at the end you tell them “Hey I love you and I really appreciate that we were able to do this together.” It is a simple and effective way to show you cherish them and your friendship but as mentioned do not do it where it does not belong. 

3. Don’t take it for granted.

You may love someone or something without even realizing it. A favorite study spot on campus, walking your dog along a certain trail or reading books, these are all little things that people may love and not even realize until they no longer have it. Love is everywhere and because we are so familiar with it that feeling it can be easy to miss in every little day item. So, I encourage you to reflect on yourself and all the little things you love and then surround yourself with those things as much as possible. 

4. Don’t Put anything above self-love.

Lastly, you cannot FULLY put your love into someone or something else unless you love yourself. Loving your own mind, body and soul is what will allow you to make others feel loved. Learning to appreciate yourself and feel confident in yourself will make the previous three steps easier, I promise.

Rebecca is a senior communication, social justice & advocacy major at SBU. This is her second year writing for Her Campus. This year, Rebecca is looking forward getting to know all the new members. She is excited to write about pop culture, books, trends and just her life overall.

Besides Her Campus, Rebecca is the senior leader for the Campus Conservationists club and the social media manager for Jandoli Women in Communications club. She has had the opportunity to have an on-campus internship in the department of university advancement and write for TAP into Greater Olean, an online news source for the St. Bonaventure area.

During her free time, Rebecca enjoys reading, going to the gym and being outside. Rebecca also loves music and will always engage in a conversation about Taylor Swift, Gracie Abrams or Noah Kahan.