Conflict is a part of any friendship, and any relationship, period. Even if you are best friends with someone, you’re bound to butt heads once in a while. Conflict is a part of life.
College can complicate these arguments. Everything can quickly become everyone’s business, blowing a small issue completely out of proportion in a very short amount of time. Here are some ways to address conflict head-on:
It is necessary, and even vital, to set standards for your life and the people you allow in it.
Mandy Hale
Turn your phone off and talk.
As young people born into a generation of incredible technological development, we are simultaneously blessed and cursed with phones.
If you find yourself in a heated text argument, refuse to continue the conversation until you can speak to them in person. You’d be surprised how mean people are to each other online compared to in person.
It is so much easier to get your thoughts across clearly when you speak to someone in person. Over text or DM, tone and meaning can be skewed in a way that you didn’t mean.
But, if you are scared to speak to them in person, maybe the relationship isn’t worth saving.
Go outside and get some perspective.
This advice is so important.
I know it’s a big joke to “reconnect with nature” or “touch grass,” but don’t underestimate the value of taking a walk around your campus and getting some fresh air.
It is so, so important to be able to spend time with yourself and think about how you want to handle your situation, and by going outside, you can accomplish great things mentally.
Call your mom.
I look at my mom and I see an incredibly smart, beautiful, and kind woman, but I also see the amazing group of friends she has assembled over the years.
I can assure you that over their years of friendship, they’ve had differences.
While it may not be exactly the advice you’d like to hear, your mother can help provide a different lens on the situation and give you advice from an outside point of view.
Your mom has more good advice than you might think, but be ready to hear it.
Be Confrontational.
There is nothing I hate more than someone who can’t stand up for themselves. If someone wrongs you, say something about it. This world has no room for doormats.
It literally does not matter when and where. Go up to them in the dining hall. Sit down at their table at Starbucks. Walk up to them at the bar. Find them at the library.
It can be scary, but true friends will recognize how they have hurt or disrespected you and fix the pattern.
You don’t have to tolerate people treating you like garbage.
Respect yourself. know your boundaries.
The best advice I can give is to respect yourself.
It’s easy to give advice from behind a computer screen, but every situation is different.
Know when to leave a friendship, “situationship” or relationship. Know that respect is earned and not given out carelessly. Respect yourself enough to not tolerate disrespect.