Crushes. They’re fun, but tricky.
Anyone who knows me knows I tend to crush easy and often. And of course, a crush can be a fun way to spice up life. I know that when I have a crush, life seems more exciting. Seeing my crush is something I look forward to talking about with my friends later. In the beginning, life is seemingly more dramatic. Crushes can also help me figure out what I am looking for in a partner without any commitment.
Though, there is a point of no return, a point where a crush becomes obsessive. And I don’t think I am alone when I say I have been there more than once.
Getting Over Them
The only way to get over a crush is to stop thinking about them.
The best way I have done this is put all my attention into something else. This could be a passion project, schoolwork, personal fitness, a club, or really anything else. The tricky part about this is making sure that I know what I am doing is for me and I set goals with myself in mind and not my crush.
Keep Busy
Focusing on my interests and who I am has not only helped me step away from a crush, but also have a better grip on my life and helped me prioritize me.
Stay Away
The next step is to avoid them. I unfollow them on social media, become less engaging, even ghost them if I must! One thing I have learned is the less I see them, the less I can romanticize them. While it sounds simple, this can be difficult to come to terms with.
This can be hard if a crush was someone else first, like a friend, teammate, peer, or anyone I saw semi-annually. If it’s seemingly impossible to get away from them, then I do the next best thing.
Keep It on the Down Low
Stop talking about them. If anything, this is more important than avoiding them. Talking about my crushes in the past, going over every detail of an interaction I had with them with friends, and overly romanticizing a crush is the worst thing to do.
When in their company, I focus on their faults or their “icks”. This is something I would recommend and would do as something of a last resort. “Ick” territory can be a dangerous one, because “ugh, ick” can quickly become “omg I love this little quirk they have”!
Though there are some things of course that will just never be “quirky”, like chewing with their mouth full, being rude, fish pics, etc. So, in that regard, it’s alright.
When All Else Fails, I Go for It
The only other solution to get rid of a crush, I would say, is acting on it. Whether it’s simply asking them out or following them on social media, a move is a move. Putting the ball in their court has let me know how they feel about me.
The worst that can happen is they say no, and sometimes knowing someone doesn’t feel the same way is enough to get me over that crush.
It Takes Time
I think the worst thing to do is move feelings around and transfer to someone else. I used to do this often, and still do. When I had a crush on someone I knew in real life, I would try to get rid of it by moving my feelings often to a celebrity.
While this seems like an obvious and lighthearted solution, it often made me feel more delusional and, in all honesty, lonely.
Unless it’s Dylan Obrien. That crush is here to stay.
In all seriousness, it’s important to remember that it takes time to get rid of those feelings and that’s okay. Besides, we all have them!