Letting go from the hold TikTok has on our generation
The TikTok wormhole
In early 2022, my boyfriend and I decided to delete TikTok. Many people talk about the effects TikTok has on their attention span and their self-image issues, and I am not apart from that.
Going onto the app before deleting it felt like a wormhole, I’d watch video after video of beautiful girls and would always end up wishing I looked like them. My boyfriend had this same problem with self-confidence issues.
While I enjoyed making videos and have been constantly online since I was in 7th grade, being surrounded by so many videos and people really fed into how I felt about myself. So, we deleted TikTok, and my life has changed.
The beginning stages
The first few weeks after deleting TikTok were odd and uncomfortable, I was so used to scrolling on the app for hours that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I resorted to Instagram but quickly grew tired of it and got off my phone. This was the start of limiting my phone usage.
Being off of my phone more helped me not get stuck in bad headspaces instead of mindlessly scrolling, waiting to feel something. Again, it was uncomfortable, but doable.
Trends from afar
As time went on, I forgot about TikTok and what it felt like to be on it. However, there were times where I felt like an outsider for not having it. When new trends began, I wouldn’t know about them until months later. When I started a new job, my co-workers brought up certain sounds and I had to remind them that I don’t have TikTok. It made me feel a little bit weird, but I think the pros outweighed the cons.
Self-image and mental health
The bad thoughts and feelings I had about myself became a lot less frequent because I wasn’t seeing the people online who fed into how I felt about myself. Not having the app made me realize that we aren’t meant to see so many faces in such little time.
Deleting TikTok made me feel more human, more self-aware and reflective. It allowed me to be more intuitive with how I spend my time as well as how I view myself.
Last year was difficult for me, but I didn’t have TikTok adding onto those problems. I spent a lot of time by myself and being able to critically think about my life rather than going onto the app and ignoring my problems for hours.
This isn’t a diss track on TikTok because there have been a lot of benefits from it as well. However, the effects from deleting TikTok sway more positive than negative, but I do not think TikTok is an overall awful app.
TikTok relapse
At the start of January 2023, I redownloaded TikTok to keep up with trends for one of the courses I’m taking. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to redownload the app, but I wanted to know more about what’s happening online.
My experience with TikTok has gone very differently this time around. I’ve felt more freedom to post whatever I want and not get caught up in how I look. I also don’t stay on the app as long as I had before.
I feel less restricted and defined by TikTok. Today, I use it as a tool for myself and a way to have fun. I’ve strayed away from posting to adhere to others and I no longer use it to ignore my life.
Taking a yearlong break from TikTok has allowed me to break the cycle of watching videos to feel better. It put life into perspective and how social media should be uplifting for me, rather than negatively impacting me.
I feel more energized and less sucked into the old feelings I had about my self-image, and now post only for my own enjoyment. I think taking a break from any social media that feels like it is doing more harm than good is a great idea. It allows you to take a step back and figure out what parts make you unhappy and find ways to combat them.