Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Montclair chapter.

Ever since I was in high school, I’ve always been heavy on the idea of constantly growing, especially in self-love. I’ve been in a relationship for a bit now with someone that doesn’t shy away from showing how much he loves me, and even then, I still have an insatiable desire to be able to love myself in that same way (think “POV” by Ariana Grande). Or even more than that, to see myself with the same potential that God sees because I know His view of me is greater than anything I can imagine for myself.

With these goals and the care I’m so blessed to receive, from family and friends to my boyfriend, God and myself, there’s too much goodness in life to limit Valentine’s Day to only romance. So whether in a relationship or not, spend Feb. 14 commemorating any and all of the love you experience.

Let’s start with some self-love dates to celebrate you and your life:

  1. Journal & Reflect.

We receive so much love without even realizing it. Even if it’s not from a romantic partner or having “I love you” directly stated to you, it’s the little things and ways people show it, from your dad warming up your car for you on chilly mornings to your sister sending a video of your nephew saying hi to you. 

List some of the ways you experience love without hearing the words.

  1. Go on a solo date to do an activity you’d like to do with friends or a significant other.

So often, I hear people say “Imagine going pumpkin picking with your boyfriend” or “I wish I had someone to go ice skating with.” While I completely understand these desires, if there’s something you’ve been wanting to do with your partner or friends for a long time but it just hasn’t worked out for whatever reason, challenge yourself to do it alone. This will teach you to enjoy your own company and step out of your comfort zone.

I’m personally not the best at this (the only thing I’m comfortable doing alone is shopping), but I admire independent people who don’t blink twice at the thought of going to a concert or out to eat alone.

  1. Splurge more than usual.

Flowers, chocolate, clothes, all-you-can-eat sushi, a spa day. Whatever it is – you deserve it, no questions asked.

  1. Have a glow-up day.

I typically have these self-love dates right before a big event like a party or night out, and I absolutely love them. It consists of all the things you need to feel confident. My routine consists of having an “everything shower” (shaving, exfoliating, washing my hair, etc), getting a wax and my hair trimmed, cutting my nails, cleaning up my brows and all that good stuff.

  1. Do something new and different.

Trying something out of your usual or something you’ve been talking about for a long time is one of the biggest propellers for growth and confidence. This can be anything from a dance class to eating a new cuisine. It’s a lovely reminder that we are never done experiencing new things and are capable of evolving. 

  1. Do absolutely nothing.

If you’re like me, every other day is spent on the go. I’m challenging you to let your obligations go for just today if possible. If it’s not, get it out of the way early in the day so you can spend the rest of your holiday doing literally nothing. To me, “nothing” would mean taking the longest hot shower of my life followed by laying in bed while blasting music or watching TV.

  1. Spend the day with loved ones.

This sounds contrary to my theme of doing things alone, but self-love also means allowing yourself to surround yourself with people who truly do care about you. So while my message in this article is to love yourself first and foremost by enjoying your own company, if being with loved ones is what helps you feel the most valued as you work to experience it on your own, do that!

Plan to do something or reach out to your significant other, parents, friends, etc.

This holiday is all about soaking in all the warmth, kindness and sentiment you experience in life. I truly hope you’re all able to give it to yourself above all but also that you feel it from others just as you deserve. Cheers to a Happy Valentine’s Day filled with the most love :)

Megan Lim

Montclair '23

Megan is currently a senior at Montclair State University, majoring in Journalism and minoring in Social Work. Not only does she aspire to be the best writer she can possibly be, but she hopes to be the best version of herself there is at all! Whether that means getting good grades, helping those around her, getting involved, working out, or letting herself binge-watch movies - she wants to do it all. Anything that has to do with self-growth, she's doing it!