For most, the term “sex-ed” most likely brings up memories of one 7th-grade health class, outdated videos on puberty and how babies are made, and the iconic American Girl Doll book, The Care and Keeping of You.
Many sex-ed courses also only teach abstinence-free curriculums; think of that scene from Mean Girls: “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.” While this is a scene we can find humorous, the truth is, many sex-ed courses are outdated and not far from this narrative. Research shows this doesn’t work and can actually be harmful; adolescents will make smarter and safer sexual choices the more informed they are.
Sex-ed in the United States is lacking and inconsistent due to insufficient government funding and varying laws across states and school districts. A lack of proper sex-ed can bring about harmful consequences including higher teen birth rates and higher STD rates among adolescents.
Culturally competent, inclusive, and comprehensive sex education matters for adolescents. Research shows that proper sex education programs can reduce teen pregnancies, STIs in this age group and risky sexual behavior.
Giving adolescents a comprehensive foundation can help them make responsible choices about sexual activity and sexual health. Sex-ed should go beyond the basics of the birds and bees, and teaching sex-ed from a more sex-positive outlook will give adolescents more useful information and resources. Listed below are 10 important pieces of sex-ed information you probably didn’t get in school.
1. Abortion Info
With the heated political climate surrounding abortions, it is not surprising that this is a subject often lacking in sex education programs, especially those that take an abstinence-free approach. There are many misconceptions about abortion, and scare tactics are often used by those opposing this choice to make young people afraid of this option. However, abortion is much more common than you might think. One in four women in the United States will have an abortion by the time they are 45, according to the Guttmacher Institute. Abortions fall into two broad categories: medical abortions and procedural abortions. In 2020, 620,327 legal abortions were reported, according to the CDC, and 51% of those abortions were early medical abortions. Early medical abortions can be administered at 9 or fewer weeks’ gestation and are administered in two pills which can be mailed directly to you. Abortion medication is also safe and effective and has been FDA-approved for over 20 years.
Abortion is an important topic to discuss with adolescents as it teaches them the meaning and importance of bodily autonomy so they can make these decisions for themselves. In addition, it also gives them the safest options if this is the choice they decide to make.
2. LGBTQIA+ Sex-ed
Many sex-ed curriculums are taught from a heteronormative and cisgender-only narrative, leaving out LGBTQIA+ individuals from receiving important sex-related education and resources. In fact, there are no states that require sex education programs in schools to include an LGBTQIA+ comprehensive curriculum. The lack of inclusivity in sex education can put LGBTQIA+ youth at higher risk for sexual health concerns and sexual safety. Listed below are a few helpful facts about LGBTQIA+ sexual health.
When it comes to being safe about pregnancy and STIs, trauma-focused therapist and sexuality educator, Aida Manduley, explains the risk of pregnancy as a matter of the anatomy of you or your partner, as opposed to gender identity or sexual orientation. Therefore, pregnancy can occur at any time if both sperm and egg are present between sexual partners. As for STIs, Manduley explains that any individual can contract an STI and recommends that everyone be tested regularly.
It is also important to stay current with vaccines and medications. Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and the HPV vaccine are all important to stay up to date with. Talk with your doctor about these vaccines and others. The CDC recommends taking Preexposure prophylaxis (PrEP) to reduce the risk of contracting HIV, especially if you are sexually active with a known HIV individual, are not using condoms, if you’ve had an STI in the past six months, or if you or your sexual partner use sharable injecting equipment such as needles and syringes. If you think you may be at risk of HIV exposure and are not on PrEP, you can take postexposure prophylaxis (PEP) within 72 hours after exposure.
When it comes to safe sex and contraceptive methods, most sex-ed programs don’t go past the condom on the banana display. However, there are many other barrier methods besides external condoms that may be right for you. Internal condoms, dental dams, and sterile gloves are other methods of safe sex barriers.
3. Consent: It Won’t Kill the mood
Consent is a very important topic when it comes to talking about sex. Consent is an ongoing and eager agreement to have sex. Communication is key when it comes to sex, and asking for consent is a major part of this. Two concepts within consent that are important to point out are that it’s okay to change your mind about having sex and that saying “no” to sex can also look like body language.
Consent can change at any time during sexual intercourse; Consent can be given and it can be taken back. Just because someone may have wanted to have sex at first, they are allowed to change their mind and this should always be respected. Consent also includes not trying to change someone’s mind about not wanting to have sex. (It is also very important to make sure consent is being asked for and given when alcohol or other substances are involved.)
While “no” means no, an indicator that someone does not want to have sex can also be “I don’t know,” “I’m not sure,” “Stop,” “I don’t want to do this anymore,” “This feels wrong,” etc. Saying no can also be non-verbal; non-verbal signs that someone does not want to have sex can look like pulling or pushing away, not taking off their own clothing, their body tensing up, not responding, and overall not seeming excited or happy to be having sex.
Consent will never kill the mood, but it will keep everyone comfortable and able to enjoy sex.
4. Virginity: It’s Your Definition
“Defining” virginity is not so black and white and can be a totally flexible concept. Really, it’s up to you how you define virginity. In some ways, the idea of “virginity” is socially constructed and can actually be a very heteronormative term. It can also be thrown around a lot in the media, such as in television shows and movies, making it seem like a bigger deal than it actually is. Virginity is only a label that doesn’t mean anything, and what matters more is that whatever you do is safe and consensual.
5. The pill might not be the best birth control for you
While the pill is a very common form of birth control, it’s not for everyone, and it is best to talk with your doctor about the best birth control option for you. Other forms of birth control include the shot, ring, patch, implant, or IUD. It is also important to note that these methods are simply for preventing pregnancy, and do not work to prevent STIs.
Depo-Provera, or the birth control shot, is administered every 12 to 13 weeks and is an FDA-approved contraceptive that is 99% effective. The shot is a great method if you cannot take hormonal birth control containing estrogen, such as the pill. Depo-Provera contains progestin, a synthetic hormone, instead. Progestin works as a method of birth control by blocking the release of eggs from your ovaries and thickening cervical mucus which can prevent sperm from entering your uterus, according to Healthline.
The vaginal ring is a great low-maintenance birth control option for those with a uterus. It is a flexible, plastic two-inch round ring that is inserted in the vagina once a month. The ring works by releasing synthetic estrogen and progestin.
The patch is quite literally how it sounds: a patch that is stuck onto the skin, kind of like a bandaid. It works to prevent pregnancy by releasing estrogen and progestin for the skin to absorb into the bloodstream. It is important to note that using the patch between day one and five of your period will make it effective immediately, but using it at any other time during your cycle will be less effective; It is advised to use a second form of contraception, such as condoms, during this time when using the patch.
The implant, sold as Nexaplon in the U.S., is a very common and even one of the most effective forms of birth control; For every 100 hundred people on the implant, less than one become pregnant, according to the CDC. The implant is a small, plastic rod that can only be inserted by your doctor; it is inserted in the upper arm. Like other birth control methods mentioned, the implant also releases progestin to prevent pregnancy.
Lastly, IUDs are another form of birth control that, unlike some other methods, can be reversed if you choose to do so. They come in two forms: hormonal and non-hormonal (copper). They are T-shaped and placed in the uterus by your doctor. The copper IUD, or non-hormonal IUD, can be effective for up to 12 years and the hormonal IUD can be left in for three to seven years. However, the IUD can be reversed simply by taking it out. Both options are over 99% effective. However, talk to your doctor about any discomfort from the IUD, including a heavier period flow.
6. Masturbation: It’s not just for boys
Masturbation can often be a stigmatized subject, but the truth is it is perfectly normal. In fact, masturbation can be a great way to learn about your body and get in touch with your sexual feelings before having sex. You can learn what you like and what you don’t like, which will help you better communicate with sexual partners in the future.
Masturbation is also only widely talked about as a step into puberty for boys, which not only stigmatizes masturbation for girls but also leaves them less knowledgeable on the topic. Masturbation can be sexually empowering and every individual should have access to this information.
7. Confidential STI testing
Luckily, many STIs are treatable, but you need to know you have an STI in order to treat it. This is why it is so important to keep up with regular STI testing if you are sexually active. Confidential testing varies across states, but many states will have confidential STI testing if you are over the age of 13. Cal Poly offers Self Order STI testing for students. STI testing will not only protect you but your sexual partners as well.
8. sexual assault: prevalence in college
I remember having a very real talk with my parent about sexual assault before coming to college, something that sex-ed curriculums normally don’t talk about. This wasn’t to scare me, or a parent being over-worried, this was an extremely important and essential conversation, especially before coming to college. It is unfortunate but true that the highest rates of sexual assault happen in college, or from ages 18-24. Therefore, especially for college students, the topic is too prevalent to be ignored and it is always better to be educated and prepared. Sexual assault is not something that should ever be normalized in college, but it should be discussed, especially when pertaining to medical and mental health resources.
While you should enjoy your time in college, it is important to be aware of issues like sexual assault, especially in environments where drugs and alcohol are involved. Taking precautions such as buddy systems and knowing the signs of date rape drugs can help to keep you safe and aware, while still being able to have fun when going out.
9. Being Honest With Your Doctor About Your Sexual Activity
It is important to be honest with your health care professional, such as a gynecologist, about your sexual health, especially if you think something is wrong. You should never feel embarrassed to share anything concerning your sexual health with your doctor especially because they’ve most likely heard it all (and seen it all) before and should never judge you; if they do, it’s time to see a new doctor.
10. Sex Should Be Enjoyable
While sex-ed courses may teach us the ins and outs of what’s happening when we have sex, they often forget one of the most important lessons: sex should be enjoyable. For those who are sexually active, you should feel excited to have sex and it should never feel like an obligatory activity to please your partner or because you feel like you have to do it for whatever reason. Sex should also not be rushed; whether it’s your first time or just your first time with a new partner, if any part of you feels wrong or uncomfortable about having sex, you should listen to that and know that it’s okay to wait, and any person worth your time will respect that as well. While it should be enjoyable, it is also essential to make sure you are staying safe at the same time; get tested frequently and talk to your doctor about any concerns.