India has a long history of worshipping women in the form of goddesses. It is said that Durga or Adi Shakti lives within every woman. However, when we associate women with Sita we, unfortunately fail to find Ram in ourselves.
We often find ourselves asking this question: why do men worship a goddess and then the next moment violate a woman. Why do men, before assaulting a woman, not see Lakshmi or Parvati in her. We’re all familiar with the excuses- ‘the girl was wearing provocative clothes’,‘the girl was under the influence of alcohol’, ‘the girl was out late at night’. We must ask ourselves if that is really the problem. Do we blame the person murdered for getting murdered or do we blame the murderer. Why should we blame women for something they’re not at fault for but in fact are the victims of.
I see no problem with the way a woman dresses, we see women wearing sarees or burkhas getting assaulted just as much as women wearing western clothes. I see no problem with women going out late at night, we see women getting assaulted in broad daylight all the time and I certainly see no issue with women drinking alcohol. Why is it that alcohol is just a health hazard for a man but a character certificate for a woman. The question then is, why do men rape?
There are multiple reasons why men rape. The most common reason is the effect of patriarchy on the brains of men and the misogyny deeply engraved in their veins. Men don’t love the idea of assaulting a woman, rather they love the idea of showing their dominance over a woman by assaulting her. It can be the outcome of years of teaching men that they are superior to women. Most of the men who rape are found to be grown in a typical patriarchal household where the men work and women spend their lives in kitchen. Such men when they grow up, cannot physically digest the idea of seeing a woman independent and in power. Many people may not agree with this stand, but this is what the patriarchy conditions our brains to think, and it becomes a part of our life without us realizing it.
Now, the real question is what is the solution for it. How do we keep the women in our lives and ourselves safe? Immediate solutions that come to our mind would be asking the women to learn self-defense, carry a can of pepper spray, avoid going out alone at night, the list is endless. But the real solution is not with women, because every tool can fail. It lies at the hands of the very men that constitute this problem. Instead of teaching women the ways to avoid getting raped, teach the men not to rape.
However, if I’m being completely honest, there is no immediate solution to it. I cannot see any change in the situation in the near future. The reason for it is you cannot change the mentality of people overnight. You cannot suddenly diminish patriarchy. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It may take decades, if not years, even centuries. All we can do for now is hope, hope of a safe future for women, hope for a moral enlightenment of men.