I turned 22 back in October, and let’s just say so far my twenties have been the most chaotic and challenging years so far. They even beat what I thought was the worst time of my life: high school. I’m still early into my twenties, but I swear they have been filled with so much growth out of my comfort zone and acceptance of change, two things I have avoided all my life.
The past two years have been filled with a constant weight on my shoulders of dealing with situations that were dragging me down. My family saw my happy and old self disappear, my friends saw me shut down, and I saw it when I looked back at pictures of myself. I felt it as well; I wanted to be in bed all the time, my grades began to suffer, and I didn’t want to do anything but be on my phone. However, I stuck with what was weighing me down because it never felt right to let it go. But then I turned 22, and a couple of days later, I could tell that it was going to be different this time. It felt so different from all the other times due to a lot of factors.
Just because someone is dealing with their own problems does not give them the right to treat anyone else poorly. It is not ever your responsibility to fix something that is destroying you.
If I were to give you all context as to where that came from, this article would be roughly 10-20 pages long. That is why I will cut to the chase and leave you all with what I have learned: don’t ever let someone make you feel stupid for sticking with something you know you should release. Luckily for me, I had one friend who always listened and never made me feel like a complete idiot (Marisa, if you’re reading this, I owe you so much). However, it felt as if a good majority of everyone else did not understand. I never wanted to release the weight until I was told those lines above. Here goes my lesson:
When you are ready…
You will feel an insane amount of calmness and peace within you. You will know when you are ready because you will feel it throughout every inch of your heart and soul. You will cry, but this time around it won’t be because you’re depressed and overwhelmed, but because you feel lighter and, in a sense, at peace. You will know when you are ready to toss off the negative weight, but until then, be patient and nice to yourself if you are not there yet. In time you will know when you are ready.