By, Emily Gianni
Breakups. Moral of the story: they SUCK. Different people deal with breakups differently. Some may say they got over their breakup easily, while others took months to get over it. It all depends on the person and the relationship. Everyone is entitled to their own feelings. Healing will take time, and as someone who has gone through a few breakups, I may say I am an expert and I can help!
First, accept that the relationship is over. Sometimes you may think you will be able to get them back. However, you have to remind yourself that at that point in time you broke up for a reason. Sometimes it may be the right person at the wrong time, but you have to focus on the time not being right and accept this fact. You need to separate yourself from them for a little while. If you have class with them, of course don’t run away from them, but it isn’t healthy to be talking to them everyday or still hanging out as you used to. You also need to respect their needs. If they say they need time apart, you shouldn’t text them even if they are asking for no contact. This will hurt any form of future possible friendship.
It is okay to be sad, and you may be sad for a little while. But, it isn’t okay to let this sadness consume you. You need to learn how to live without your significant other. You should not let the break up consume you and let that be the only thing you talk about all day every day. You need to prioritize self care. Focus on things that make you happy and enjoy life (not including your ex if they made you happy). Try not to get in the cycle of negative emotions. It does not help you move on from the relationship if you are wallowing in grief all the time. When you are feeling sad, it may help to reset yourself by getting out of the house, seeing your friends, getting sun, practicing self care with baths and face masks and more. Just do the little things that make you happy.
It is totally okay to talk about your feelings. Talk to your friends, a trusted adult and your family. Talking things through may allow you to feel better and realize that things just weren’t meant to be. But again, do not let it consume all of your conversations and relationships. Talking about your breakup is healthy, but it isn’t healthy for it to rule your life.
Lastly, give it time. Breakups really do suck: they can make you feel angry, worthless, upset, confused and more. You won’t get over your ex in one day, especially if they meant something to you. Get regular sleep, eat well and stay active. You don’t want to spiral out of control over some ex. Things do get better and you will find someone better, someone you deserve, someone you love and someone who loves you even more. As Dory would say, “Just keep swimming,” you got this!