No one talks about the huge, weird jump from freshman to sophomore year. Here’s what I’ve learned from my experience.
About two-ish months into my sophomore year, I feel like there are a lot of things going on that are scary and overwhelming that no one has talked about. I was lucky enough to find a group of people on my floor freshman year that became my closest friends. We did everything together last year, had an amazing time, and truly, I felt like the luckiest person alive. I still feel incredibly grateful for the people in my life, but my relationship with just about every one of them has completely changed.
I live with three of my close friends in a four-bedroom apartment, and it’s been a really fun time. This doesn’t mean we haven’t had arguments or conflicts, but it’s still been fun being together all the time. I feel like I’ve gained a sibling-like relationship with some people, while others I barely see—maybe we talk once every few weeks. It’s weird, the ways we can so quickly become strangers with the people we share so many memories with.
I truly believe that this is inevitable. That there are going to be friends that become people we pass by and smile at. I’ve thought about why this is for a while now, wondering if I did something wrong and that’s why this person isn’t texting me anymore to hang out or get coffee. It’s been hard to come to terms with this as a person who rejects and constantly fears change, especially when I value my friendships so highly.
I can confidently say now that while this is normal, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Last year, one of my friends I was closest with lived in a different area than I did, and yet, we were still able to hang out often. I thought we had kept good contact over the summer, and that our return to school would be better than ever. It wasn’t, to say the least. Nothing happened, really; there wasn’t one specific argument or disagreement, but I’ve recently felt like I did something wrong. It seems like that friend now goes to another mutual friend for everything. I can’t help but be sad, thinking I’m losing someone. In reality, I’m not losing them at all, but there comes a point when other people can be supportive more than I can. Rather than taking it personally, I think it is better to accept how people’s friendships grow and change
We are all so young, and while it’s easy to think something is going to be the same forever, it rarely is. We all still have so much more to learn about ourselves and those around us, so we cannot expect consistency at this time. What I’ve found has helped me most of all is it’s rarely ever personal, it’s rare that someone really has an issue with me. Learning to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can. My dad has always said this to me, and while it’s a cheesy AA saying, it has provided me great comfort at this point in my life. The one piece of advice I can give to those who are facing similar challenges is to trust that everything is going to be okay, that loneliness at times can be a good thing, and that the people we have in our lives are there for a reason.