Why did Friends become wildly adored by millions across the globe? These six friends drew everyone in – but not for their suspenseful narrative or wild plot line. Instead, we became obsessed with the concept of a show that follows the daily experience of these characters who share every aspect of life with each other – a concept foreign to our culture.Â
As one of the biggest friends fans out there I doubt that I’m the only one who was disappointed by the long awaited ending of the series. The friends, who had spent ten years navigating friendship, love, sex, and change discover in the final scene of the series that they are separating and life as they knew it was coming to a close.Â
But spoiler alert: they’ve grown. Monica and Chandler are married and adopt twins. Ross and Rachel are navigating their romantic relationship and coparenting their daughter Emma. Phoebe and Mike are married and of course Joey is still Joey.Â
Monica and Chandler decide to leave the iconic apartment, the coffee house, and the city to raise their newborns away from the life they had created with their people. Rightfully, the friends were shocked and in disbelief.Â
In a way, this decision is representative of the way that we look at culture today. We are constantly driven by work and raising the perfect children that we would be willing to sacrifice community with our people in order to do so.Â
Why do we choose to trade our established community for a better job, a nicer home, a cooler city? Yes those things are viewed as important and can hold value according to society in our success driven and independent culture. But we leave our people and often we find ourselves wrestling with loneliness when we uproot from community and lose satisfaction of our deepest desire to belong.Â
Similar to “Friends”, we often make choices that lead us to that “picture perfect” life. The one that makes us the most money, thinking that will satiate the intense longing we all have to be “enough” or find contentment. Isn’t it funny that no matter how much money we have we always what more but when we are surrounded by people who fill us with joy and beautiful community we are content? What we really want is a story like what we experience when we watch “Friends.” One filled with rich and constant community, the kind that these friends had. The one that they chose to give up in order to do the “right” thing for their family.Â
Monica and Chandler settled. But you don’t have to. In a culture driven by our success we often forget the importance of deep rooted community, one that allows us to flourish and find a sense of belonging and purpose, rarely advocated by the world around us but so crucial to our development and identity.Â